soaring, flying...

k... i promise myself no more emo posts ever ever ever... not now ouii..
i'm... (funnily enough).. happy? haha... dunno...
forget everything i posted since the other day... ouiii...
no more angry music for now.. (ouii.. see who's more indecisive now mademoiselle haha...)

i feeel like singinggggg...... haha..
(i think i'll get my brother ear plugs for his birthday or something... ouiiii..)
k forget it... i'll buy enough for the world ouiii.. (dx u are one of the first few on my list.. hahahha)

*Now Playing Relient K - Always Winter*

it's always nice to look out the window
and see those very first few flakes of snow
and later on we can go outside
and create the impression of an angel that just fell from the sky

when february rolls around i'll roll my eyes
turn a cold shoulder to these even colder skies
and by the fire my heart it heaves a sigh
for the green grass waiting on the other side

it's always winter but never christmas
it seems this curse just can't be lifted
yet in the midst of all this ice and snow
our hearts stay warm cause they are filled with hope

it'd be so nice to look out the window
and see the leaves on the trees begin to show
the birds would congregate and sing
a song of birth a song of newer things

the wind would calm and the sun would shine
i'd go outside and i'd squint my eyes
but for now i will simply just withdraw
sit here and wait for this world to thaw

and everything it changed overnight
this dying world you brought it back to life
and deep inside i felt things
shifting everything was melting
away oh away
and you gave me* the most beautiful of days

cause when it's always winter but never christmas
sometimes it feels like you're not with me*
but deep inside our hearts we know
that you are here and I will not lose hope



this is how i'd sing this song... ouiii..
they were beautiful dayyys... and i won't complain anymore..
cause though it's always winter and never christmas,
you're always here, in my dreams with me...
just looking out the window....

happiness, a tear drop away...

k.. i dun wanna be the party pooper...
so i'm gonna smile... again... ouiii.. though the last week hasn't been too good..

"hello everyone its me nigel again. melvin's very special guest. tyty. we are in sch now again at the 8th floor. he still has class later on. dx is sitting beside him. dx say hi. HI. ok thats all for this monday i'll be back. Pea's in a very bad mood today. Everyone annoys her. Dx annoys me. Melvin annoys me. Eugene annoys annoys me. Lets get hurt everyone. Oh melvin got hurt. i wonder how and why. nigel loves all you ppl at blogworld. " (Nigel and Pea)

"on now back to regular programming, f@#$ the hijackers." (dx)

haha.. mind the french theree... ouii..
k that ends my special guest appearances for the dayyy..
mmm.. i'm not sure bout stuff... oui... je ne sais pas.... but i'm happy none the less but not for myself.......
=)

lemme be a idiot for 5 minutes k?

i really cant help myself.. better late than never...
but seriously.. if the fella is such a freaking killer like you bloody say he is,
then get him to do whatever... get him to be the good samaritan...
i dont wanna know all the stupid details and watever...
get him to be there 24/7 thanks and i'll step back and put my feet up.... and ignore you and ur 'killers' and whoever else ....

k i'm calming down... *breatheee*

Perceptual Accentuation....

forget it... 2021 starts now...

*Now Playing Breaking Benjamin - You Fight Me*

You fight me, flat on my lonely face I fell.
Finding in the end all is well.
In light of the life that I have found,
It's coming down.

I know it isn't real,
But it's easy
To beat me.
(Suck it up)
Life is sink or swim.
Love is blinding, no surviving.

I don't know what a world to be at.
I can show that I need to see this.
No time for lies and empty fights.
I'm on your side.

Can we live a life of peace and happiness?
I don't think so.

Looking, I am scared to lose the things I love.
I'm in control.

[Chorus:]
This is how, this is how it's going to end.
This is how, this is how it's going to end.
End

Everyone is waiting here for everyone.
Leave me alone.

[Chorus:]
This is how, this is how it's going to end.
This is how, this is how it's going to end.
This is how, this is how it's going to end.
(No)
This is how, this is how it's going to end.

"... leads you to see what you expect to see or want to see.
You see people you like as better looking and smarter than those you don't like.
You magnify or accentuate what will satisfy your needs and desires..."

just you try...

dreaming of 2021...

i've a temptation to put up a angry screamer song...
mm.. but i'll leave that for tomorrow or something... there's always a tomorrow

Dexian Says: [dexianhbk.blogspot] Sometimes, to make it right, you gotta do it on your own and take matters into your own hands. says:
you wake up everyday wondering whats gonna happen today
Dexian Says: [dexianhbk.blogspot] Sometimes, to make it right, you gotta do it on your own and take matters into your own hands. says:
will your life change or something
Dexian Says: [dexianhbk.blogspot] Sometimes, to make it right, you gotta do it on your own and take matters into your own hands. says:
and the answer is always no
=]mao[= says:
actual my life has..
Dexian Says: [dexianhbk.blogspot] Sometimes, to make it right, you gotta do it on your own and take matters into your own hands. says:
maybe i should take it into my own hands and cut off my dick
=]mao[= says:
in pretty big ways
Dexian Says: [dexianhbk.blogspot] Sometimes, to make it right, you gotta do it on your own and take matters into your own hands. says:
now that'll be a change

sorry dx haha... but mine's just changed today.. yesh...
and it's raining again... just when i start thinking of emo stuff...
(k stops thinking.. forever...)
i used to love the rain remember? all that fresh air and stuff... the rain falling onto my face
... not until i look into a mirror then i'll be able to see why sad people love the rain...
(k stupid thoughts...)

i think i'll be posting angry songs for the rest of the year... maybe even into 2007.. dunno.. feel's weird to be in a situation like this.. but i've been here beforee... so no biggy..
c'est la ___ vie...

You're The Chio Girl. I'm The Lucky Guy. says:
bro cheer up man
=]mao[= says:
im not emo
=]mao[= says:
i swear arr
You're The Chio Girl. I'm The Lucky Guy. says:
i am sure its not true

words like these (the not true part..) give people false hope sometimes.. because people just love to lie... there's no escaping it.. everyone was born a bloody liar.. (u disagree? well that's just me than.. lying to myself ain't i?) but at least he's trying to understand yah yah.. thank rez and dx...
Les Garcons de Riviere foreverrrrr (And You'll Never Walk Alone!!!!)

thoughts they change and times they rearrange,
i don't know who you are anymore...

i've got loads to do today.. probably gonna try and finish the 900 word soc psych essay today.. and read the chapters... i feel stressed out by the fact that i know more work is coming... i'll feel much better after i complete watever i have... leaving myself a clean sheet to destroy next week...

and i understand
why you wouldn't want to...

i've made a mistake.. a 'Comma Splice' to be exact...
i tried to join 2 'independents' into one...
stupid me.. use a freaking full stop.....
abrupt endings are the best if you've no time(dont want ) to look through watever...
and it's still right in a sense... (grammatically..)

god forbids... but i'm left empty-handed.... for now... for now... i'll wait for my '2021'

laughter is definitely the best medicine... =D

i picked up a old copy of reader's digest in my living room and browsed through to my fav parts... (the funny parts of course!)
here's some of em.. enjoy!

Holy, Holy Moley

God's servants work in mysterious ways, as evidenced by the following bloopers form church bulletins and the pulpit:

1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
(hahahha.. hahahhaha...this one had me in stitches for like 5 minutes hahahaha....
Bertha must be the world record holder for "Loudest Belcher" if we can hear her from Calvary while she's belching away in Africa... hahaha..)

2.The year eight students will be presenting Shakespear's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
(that bad huhhh? haha...)

3.Barbara remains in the hospital. She is having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
(poor jack... he's gonna be heartbroken if he hears this person having a go at him...
"Calling me boring are ya? I'll show you..."
'Quiet sir... she's already sleepinggg...'

4.Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
(hahahahahahahaa... so evil these ppl... hahaha... )

-----

Life's Like That

1."I called my local gas utility for help with a minor malfunction in my outdoor gas grill. Their automated phone system put me on hold for over 20 minutes. As i waited, I was grateful my problem wasn't worse - especially when i heard a pre-recorded message repeatedly advise, "If you smell gas, stay on the line."
(O.O) haha...

2."Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbour and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table.
"Young man we're both 90 years old," the husband told the maître d'. "We may not have 45 minutes." They were seated immediately.
(-maitre d' n : a diningroom attendant who is in charge of the waiters and the seating of customers ...- it pays to be oldddd after all haha....)

3."Like all growing boys, my teenage grandson, Jermon, was constantly hungry. I went to my refrigerator to find something he might like to eat. After poking around a bit and moving the milk and juice cartons, I was about to give up when I spotted a bowl of leftover chili.
"Hey, Jermon," I called out. He came running into the kitchen. "Look! I found some chili in the back of the fridge." Struggling to be polite, he said, "If you're not surprised, I'm not really sure I want it."
(seeeee there are people worse off then me okay!! haha...
yes there's expired stuff everywhere in my house but at least i dont go searching for stuff and feeding my guests hahaha... except for that one time when benja, matt, ifan and darren came over to play floorball.. and we had milo since matt was late (as usual)... benja thought it tasted funny and looked at the expiry date... it had expired a year before (hahahahaha...) to help show him nothing was wrong with it.. i downed my entire cup bravely (i think stupidly would be a better word hahahahaha...) and matt showed up and we gave him benja's cup of milo mmhmm hahaha...
"wah they treat me so nice suddenly.. make milo for mee.. i must be important man... hur hur hur *drinks up the milo*"
"eh matt... the condensed milk we used expired a year ago..."
*matt's jaw drops...*
he went home to splash his insides out from his bottom end ouiii haha... i survived mhmmm.. dunno maybe my stomach's used to the weird things i eat... haha... scaryyyyy...

okayyy going back to watch liverpool... more funny stuff later.. or tmrrr oui oui.. hahahhaa

a mind so inept... taking chances...

I hope you dance...

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leaves you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....
I hope you dance,

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they're worth taking,
Loving might be a mistake but it's worth making
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance...

give faith a fighitng chance...

i told tw the other day i didn't believe in having faith ... don't know why but i'm beginning to take those words back now....
didn't get selected for U-19 again... =( ...
i'm not all that sad though... in fact i'm actually pretty okay about it.. because i know i'm still not good enough at the moment... mm...
i feel like buying myself a new stick soon.. the blade on my canadien is wearing off... and they stopped selling that blade already... and i wont have any other blade from canadien on that stick... (so picky... so 'mafan..')
yes.. i'm gonna get one yah yah.. a shorter one.. like maybe 95cm? my canadien is too long for me.... 'the man with the golden gun' is gonna be no moreeee...(haha one of many nicknames i've been given at my new club...) unless i can find another gold stick =P .. haha...

speaking of new nicknames something really funny and embarrasing happened yesterday during training (*Warning! Random Shite Coming Your Way*)
i scored this stunner goal that stunned myself more than anyone else i think haha...
i was at full stretch to convert the one-two into top-corner finish oui... i didn't even know i got the ball.. i had to squeeze between 2 defenders to get into the gap which is a achievement for someone as clumsy as me (thank you..) ... and then keith (as usuall..) starts his cheering ...
(i'm not sure if it spelt this way.. but it's close enough i guess haha...)
"maositong! maositong! maositong!"
as if that wasn't embarrasing enough the whole bench on that side decides to join in
0.0 .. i didn't have anywhere to hide my face haha... it's definitely something that will drive anyone into fits of laughter haha... (or maybe it's just me ouiii...)

my toe is bleedinggggg... it's not the blood.. but it's the fact that it hurts when i try to stop or change direction when running mmm... and there's coaching skills test this coming tuesdayyyy..
i hope it heals fast enough.. (though i'm doubtful....) i'm hungryyy.. but i let my lil bro eat the zinger i bought backkk.... soooo hungry... looks like it's bread again... (i mean how much bread can a guy take?)
'loads by the looks of this fella...'
me mum always said i was more angmoh than asian haha... simply because i have diets very similar to angmohs .. i just love that kinda foood.. je ne sais pas... maybe it's because of all the movies of em (in accent) Bwitishh(and other europeans and americans and .. u get the idea doncha?) eating their eggs and ham, steaksss, cold meat piesss, pecan piesss(with the gooey centre =D) and the list goes on... boy oh boy... what i wouldn't give for a good pecan pie nowwwww i havent had that since i was in primary schoool ( so sad right? haha..)

(more randomness..)
i think i attract like empty buses or something...
i was taking the bus home from training yesterday and guess what??

i'm beginning to believe 'someone up there'(ooo mentions) loves movies tooo you know?
like in this situation u'd be able to interpret that the character is.................
*blows a raspberry* (not telling! =P ) a weeee bits abstract but yes...
and if we had a inside view of his thoughts we'll be able to understand more details yesh... *ahem* a whole lot moreee... (sounds like one of those boring draggy films alreadyyy.. haha)

convince me, because i really need your help
convince me, because i can't see it by myself...
but i'll always hope you dance...

away from prying eyes...

i saw a really nice thing todayyy... come guess!
*taps foot patiently..*
u won't guess it cause i think it's amazing mmm... (or more like random than anything haha..)
i saw a eagle while walking home todayyy.. it was really hmm majestic? haha...
i couldn't pop out my phone fast enough to snap a pictureee.. but it was really beautiful...

flying free...

social psych class today was fun... we played a game to help us understand how perception affects how we view ppl... each of us had to write 3 things we've done....
2 real and a fake one mmhmmm....
then we write down our own secret numbers we had drawn at random..
and the lecturer recollects em' all... jumbles em up and gives us someone else's piece..
and we've to guess who we think did those things ouii...
and i think it's really neat to see what people think of you... and how they try

(here are my 3 things...)
1. I've stolen before
2. I once drove my mum's car without her permission
3. I'm currently learning french...

i dont think i need to say which is fake... mmm.. (and i'm not proud of the other one that is real...) something in my past... mmmm a story for another time =D haha...

my name was put on the wrong slip twice... because of these 2 things those ppl wrote
-I was in the soccer school team...
-I've been to Los Angeles...
reason for the first one, i look like the athletic kind and have that sportsperson body type...
(so interesting right? i always thought i looked average... like u'd never guess i was into sports unless i told you? dunno.. my perception of myself mm haha..)
and 2nd one, ( haha i love this one..) " I wrote Melvin because he looks very English look.."
haha... this is why i will never be accepted into the Chinese Studies course (and of course... not that i would want too... haha =P )
'Why thank you miss, i'm actually britishhh...' *in a thick english accent*
"Oh Really?"

mmm... i feel like i've still so much more to type... but i've gotta get ready for training... yah yah...
i will tell more stories when i get back from training if it isn't too late...
the U-19 trials are tomorrow morning!!! *covers face..*
hellpp!!!! haha.. mmm kk au-revoir!

*Now Playing Hoobastank - The Reason*

a clock's wish...

was that a farewell?
i really hope not gal.
they say time is a powerful thing,
it's got something to do with everything.
we're all living to those simple sounds,
tick tock, tick tock, it just keeps going round and round.
it's funny but we've become clocks ourselves,
we need to be wound constantly to stay alive,
and not be left on shelves.
please don't put me on my shelf,
don't hang me up on the wall like the rest.

i promise to give everything i can,
i won't leave u behind, will you do the same?
don't forget to pull the weights that control my heart,
they keep me alive though these faces are apart.
I don't need three,
one will do, one is enough for me.
stay here with me as i,
there with you.
i'll fight the horde in the jungle out there,
i'll fight just to come here because i'm thinking clear.

so hear my cry for help.
hear me plead on these knees,
begging to be lead to brighter days,
make everyone else disappear


blogger's being a pain and not letting me upload the 2 photoss....
i think i'm heading for bed... really tired... and it's a long day tmr...
ouiiii... can't help it but i've got so many thoughts and ideas and stuff in my head...
it's the cinematographer in me visualising stuff... looking at things from a different perspective... it's making everything so much more interesting...
i hope this keeps up.. yah yah...
bonne nuit to the world that's listening...

things look brighter alreadyyyy....

empty seats & hearts...

Bus full of empty seats,
a heart that doesn't beat.
A child seeking attention,
he can't see the warning signs and the tension.

Window splashed with rain,
it shows not the outside world.
Reflecting the light within,
a silent screaming figure in the mirror.
In the calm and peaceful carriage,
he raises cain but no one notices this rage.

Eyes deep and gleaming,
a picture that keeps him beaming.
Eyes searching for answers inside,
looking away scared of this secret he hides.
Imagining a disappointed look on that face,
is bitter wine that i don't want to taste.

The road leading here,
is one of empty seats and hearts.

bella notte

(yes people.. it's more of maosi's irritating singing haha.. dont u just hate me? you'll learn to live with me i guess...)

there's a song that's inside my soul...

at first glance i thought it'll be a good idea... mmm... like maybe something good at last...
but now, thanks to a few insignificant words(to other ppl) i'm beginning to doubt it's intention...
yes... i'm looking at the sides of the picture that hasn't been painted yet.. (call me highly strung if you will... ) but it's just the way this fiddle was made...

i'd like to believe fate existed now...

my mum has these 2 red half crescent moons made of wood... she sits cross-legged infront of our goddess of mercy sculpture and asks questions with them... i don't think it's real.. i'd like to believe i'm wrong... because i went to try it.. just once...
"ask anything u want" mum tells me...
*thinks of the deepest, most desperate desire in his heart...*
*throws the moons to the floor...*
*they come to a halt.. one facing upwards on its rounded side and the other on it's flat side..*
"that means yes..."
what did i ask? haha.. i didn't tell my mum.. so i don't think i'll tell you guys either... =P
i don't believe in fate... i don't believe in supernatural stuff... (or at least i think i still don't)
je ne sais pas... how do you know it's real? can i do a best out of 3 throws thing? haha...
my brother threw 3 times... asking the same question.. and all of the answers were No...
O.O like how freaky is that... haha... (btw he asked if he could go back to the express stream.. cause he's now in norm. acad... mmmm) is that wat u call suay? or coincidence?
(the song i'm listening to now just had this line sung...
"I DONT THINK SO!
I'm IN CONTROL!" -Breaking Benjamin- You Fight Me (Phobia)-

not knowing what lies beyond my horizon...

oui.. i'm uncertain (if it gives u any comfort in knowing so...)
and ppl say things about the way i'm handling the situation...
i think i'm handling it okay... if u take into account every last detail... dunno...

figments of my imagination...

i tried to visualise the good possibilites in my mind yesterday...
it comes down to one moment of extreme nerve... mmm no matter how i play my chess pieces...
looks like tonight i'll be spending the time that i'm suppose to use to sleep, to think throught the worst possible possibilites... i hate the way my mind thinks...

i'm praying for one bella notte...
one night of fortune...
and not a series of unfortunate events...

distorted image...

from a heart of stone...
there is LLthis hidden image...
it starts LLoff with thick bold lines one after the other...
1 by 1, i LLsaw the lines come until they formed
thewordLL'TIME'... no not in the
usualwayLLLLLLLLLLL... in a particularly peculiar way... the bold
lines are actually the boundaries of the word... not the filling...
from a different perception that we are so used to seeing...
the things we dont see.......
now i see thisOOOOOOOOOdistorted image...
it's funnyOOOOO...iOOOOOunderstand the image pretty well..
in all theOOOOOmessedOOOOup elements ... i pick
the things iOOOOOwant toOOOOthink about and consider... but it's
no use unlessOOOOOu seeOOOOthese things in their full detail..
just like how aOOOOOOOOOOart student would study a
masterpiece... and the things that we do

is it a decision? yes i think so................... and so much more..
but...theVVVweird thing isVVVthat ripples are spreading from
the pointVVVwhere1 dropVVV just one drop of contaminated water
dripped onVVVthe canvasVVV it's funny to see something
__ ____soVVVVvery....VVVdifferent from what i believe
in... ___it's noVVVlongerVVVadecision for life and happiness too
most.. it's moreVVVofVVVVa fashion...yes a fashion.. like the
clothes that comeVVVVVand go...the slangs and phrases that are
over-used till theyVVVget boring... mistreated, misunderstood
from what it was meant to be...

and i see people wallowing in it... but they dont
understandEEEEEEEEEEEEanymore... they've changed
waat makesEEEEit so important... it's no longer a gift to them
... no longerEEEEEEEEEEEEsomething to treasure to guard for the
rest of theirEEEE lives... some even play collectors... counting
off as if theyEEEEEEEEEEEE were hunting ... changing targets as
they see fit... and in the end, when they finally slow down to realise
'hey, this isn't how it's suppose to be...
this is not how it's meant to be'

ladies and gents i give u the distorted image... of Love...

a dream of you...

yes it's 9.50pm.. and i'm still in school
=( ... i'm really tired.. but yes.. i'm still in school... the library will be closing in 15 minutes.. oui... but i've so much to read... if only i could stay in the library for the night...

ain't i to be pitied if i WERE in school? hahaha.. =P
yes i've finally got blogger to work again! weeeeee! *danceeee*
i'm sitting in the comfort of my blue armchair at home, blogging... (sounds so comfortable doesn't it?) haha...
turns out there was some stupid firewall on my router that stopped me from getting into blogger.. (who ask the blogger people to make it onto the so-not-trusted list? heee )

it's been a tiring day mmhmmm.... (though tw's day is definitely more tiring then mine.. let me complain for awhile before i get to the good stuff...)
early morning wakey wakey... my stupid mp3 wouldn't work because it didn't charge itself...
stupid ppl staring at me on mrt... long long lessons... irritating classmates (thankfully pea saved me during Computer Graphics class... *phew!*) dunno why but i just don't like this guy.. he's so... = ... yah... dunno how to put it...
and a irritating ex-classmate
(we were at the king albert park mcdonalds during break... and there was this really touchy smoochy smoochy couple at the table beside us... they were all over each other.. u wouldn't be able to tell where either of them started or ended they looked so... so... together? dunno fusion of love or something..) anyway... my classmate decides he shall exclaim out loud!

"Wah LaaooooOo! What They Doing?! (yah they're gonna turn around and tell u *rolls eyes*)
No Where Better To Do Must Come McDonalds and DOooo? (if they had alternative i think they would have took it... ) "

it's so rude... even though i didn't approve of the public show of affection... (bcoz it was really bad ... like where's the Censorship Board when u need them... )
they were really young... like 16? the girl maybe 15? it's crazy... mmhmmmm... but yah.. if they love each other enough to not bother wat other ppl say about them.. it's good i guess to a certain extent mmm... (im confusing myself..)

mm... computer graphics class was stupid.. because i did my best to save the whiskers of the cute seal in the picture i'm suppose to super-impose (basically means cut here and paste it into another picture..) but i kept leaving small ( i mean PIXEL SMALL! u know how big a pixel is?! ) holes... yes... and in the end... i had to snip off his whiskers and eyebrows... mmm.. poor guy...
=( ... (u can charge me with animal cruelty now.. though i tried *nods head* honest!)

Writ Comm group meeting was fantastic... went really fast and quick and we finished the stuff... it's amazing wat good group members can do... (like if there are ppl like this in poly.. where are all of 'em in the uni's right smiley lady?) dunno.. beats me... another stupid thing in this sometimes stupid world...

fell dead asleep on the bus... i didn't even notice i was nodding off... i just go black... and start dreaming immediately.. so it felt so real... until someone decide they wanna get off..
*ding dong!* "Rise and Shine Sleeping Beauty!"
mm.. but it's a miracle what 5 minutes of a good dream can do... yah.. i was dreaming of... mmhmmmmmm ... dunno.. i dun rmb the details too clearly so i'll be sure to try to rmb what happens in the dream if i dream about it later okay? =P ..haha... ( i sound like i'm watching a tv series... i'll tell u wat happens the next episode mm...)

thank god holiday tmr... i can do my readings for this week and next week.. and practice the 2 songs i wanna sing.. the first one is switchfoot's Only Hope which nigel has chosen.. (he's playing the guitar =P yay! that means jamming sessions!) and i'll be doing a recording of lifehouse's You and Me tmr (much to the displeasure of dx.. haha.. who thinks it's a emo song ... )
random but i love playing music with other ppl.. like yesterday when tw came over, we played both our guitars at the same time oui oui.. with different strum patterns to the same song but at the same time (my.. i did that in one breath haha..) it sounded great.. and it was great fun... especially when we were playing (god knows what song.. forgot.. ) and i hit the high high high note to my surprise.. and i think to benja's surprise also he was like wincing haha... mmm i was so happy i quickly choked on the next line....

wednesday is gonna be me first day of sports and wellness... suppose to be playing soccer.. but i dont think i'll do much... i don't have the right shoes.. i refuse to wear my boots because i'm afraid to step on the feet of the girls... it hurts like crazy.. i had my feet stepped on while i was playing at 'balestier khalsa' (a story for another time =) ) ... mm.. so i'll probably walk around... maybe be the goalie... just hop around catching the ball and stuff... mmmm
and then i've got hours to kill before meeting the french classmates for dinner... apparently ah lian and qamariah want to go ice skating.. i think i'll follow but i wont skate... mmm.. friday's a big day... -plus the guy i dun like is going as well- *headache...* (i'm mean i know... )

frenchy thursday! weee! we got back our old teacher!! =D ... it's gonna be a good lesson mmhmm..

killer friday... U-19 trials at night... i'm scaredddd.... *prays prays prays prays prays* hey wat are u all standing around for? pray for me too (haha...)

seeeeeeeeeeeeee so much to say... even though it's only been a dayyy...

i wanna dream again... =)

school again

tired mmhmmmm... long day today... finish at 5 but i've still got a group meeting for my 'Written Communication" assignment that'll approximately take me an hour or 2... which means i'll only be home at 8 earliest... (hates hates hates mondays..)

come random stuff, this gal in school said ,
"Hi Melvin!"
*turns around to look who it was*
*(do i know youuuu??? hmmmmmmm) thinks thinks thinks*
"What happened to your face?"
"Oh floorball accident..."

i really couldn't remember who she is... but she looks really familiar... hmmm.. dunno...
i'm really stressed out and guilty that i don't remember people who remember me...
(what a ignorant fool right?)
this week's gonna be a little busy but fun none the less...
the U-19 national team try outs are this friday! O.O
someone help me... *trembles at the sheer thought of failure just like 2 years before...*
scared mmhmm... very...

the cut on the face has now become more visible thanks to the scalp (is this how it's spelt?) that has now formed from the dried blood... it's very irritating and uncomfortable.. plus people on the mrt this morning obvioulsy associate having cuts and bruises on the face with being beaten up...
(weakling!)
sad truth... but it's interesting how people ask what happened and all..
(Nigel is saying Hi to all readers... ) poor guy is full of nonsense...
and he's trying to type something secret onto here.. but i won't allows it! haha.. =P
see lar all his fault i cant remember what i wanted to say...
(and pea s staring as well. Hellooo my dear friends, says pea. )

yes... it's nice to know people care ( or at least i think they do.. or maybe it's just so rare to see facial injuries that people have to ask thanks to busybody in them.... or maybe it's because it's so obvious 0.0!) dunno.. at least the guy with the chipped tooth can hide his battle scar until he smiles... i couldn't hide this unless i had really long long hair... (just another battle scar into my collection of skin-deep memories)

i've got Computer Graphics lesson in another 10 minutes... so i've to wrap it up.... at least it's a holiday tomorrow.. no school.. yah yah. kk ..gtg...

:)

because i can't always say wat i want too...
for watever reason...
i'll sing it to you...

i'm sorry...
please forgive me...
i love you...
wont u hold me in your arms tonight and take me away
from everything else that doesn't matter...

(i know the song isn't perfect but it's the effort that counts..)

2bforward

you think i'm not looking,
you think i'm pre occupied,
you think i'm stressed out,
you think i'm tired,you think i seriously don't care,
you think i'll hold you back...you thought right,
i won't hold you back.

i look into my mind,
come give it a go and tell me what i'll find.dancing in clouds?
in a fantasy world?
i'm near but far away at the same time?
no, i'm right there with you,and you don't see,
i'm battling my senses.
fighting not to break apart and cry,
infront of your eyes.

you don't see that everyday i look forward to one thing,
one thing that makes my heart sing.
you don't see that everytime it doesn't come,my day is wrecked,
my mind is thrashed, my heart stops beating.

and you still won't see,
i won't let you,
i can't let you,
because i won't hold you back.........

smile or cry?

je ne sais pas...

anyways at last i'm blogging for myself at last! but i'm not at home...
looks like from now all my blogging will be done in school...

i wanna go home and sleeep...
no sleep last night...
no sleep this afternoon...
got class later at 2pm
school finishes at 5pm..
and nigel decides now is a good time to tell me that the room we'll be having our computer graphics lesson is rumoured to be haunted... o.O .. *looks around..*


i just wanna cry out loud OMG!
yes..
apparently it's either the complete opposite of what i expected... or it's a really good go at ...
k nvm... je ne comprends pas!

shouldn't have let erez take my harddisk for a day... no films to watch to get me out of this boring hole... mmhmmm.. the haze is getting irritating...

k this is becoming a depressing post...

i've stuff i wanna sayy =)

blogger officially hates me haha.. ever since the server went down on monday i have not been able to even load http://www.blogger.com/ .. wanna know the worst part? (that i can't blog and express myself?)no that's not it.. the worst part is i can't even tell the nice people at Blogger who i'm sure will be eager to help me get, but for the fact that their support page is a subpage of (u guessed it..)http://www.blogger.com/.. so right now.. blogger just doesn't exist to me... (all the computers in my house can't get in neither... maybe StarHub's too blame.. =X haha...)

and so trusty, 'nobel' (haha.. *insider joke*) tw is helping me post.. at the risk of being caught by bloggerand charged with high treason by 'The High Court of Blogspot for blogging crimes'and having his 'blogging' rightstaken away from him just as they've done to me.... merci beaucoup mon bon ami, je te salue... =)

i bought 8 dvds on thursday at alliance francaise.. (wat?! they were on discount.. )here are the films i got (and their lovely prices =D )

stuff i've watched..

~"L'enfant" at $26.90 sold at $20 (i've just seen it today.. it's a nice film ouii.. not too much dialouge)winner of Best Picture at the 'Palme d'or' Festival De Cannes

~"Merry Christmas (aka Joyeux Noel) $26.90 now $20 (i also watched this today.. very niceeee a must watch =) )Nominated at the Golden Globes and Academy Awards for Best Foreign Lang Film and Best Film Not In English Langrespectively...( haha i like the 2nd title... so specificcc... but there's actually quite alot of english in itit's got a healthy mix of German, French and English )

~"Les Choristes (The Choir) $26.90 got it at $10 (haha... wat a deal! =D)(the soundtrack is brilliant stuff.. it's one heck of a enchanting movie.. which was why i watched it a 2nd time this afternoon..)It was the No.1 Movie in France in 2005 and was France's official entry into the Oscars 2005 as well..
stuff i haven't

~"The Director's Series" -2 Films by Francois Truffaut 'The 400 Blows' (no dx it's not what u think haha)and 'Jules & Jim' both films won BEST DIRECTOR awards at the Cannes Film Festival and Mar Del Plata Film FestivalrespectivelyOriginal Price $45.90 came to me at a amazing cut of $15.. (isit just me or do the ppl that sold me the dvds not understand business? haha.. it's just me i guess)

~"The Return"Winner at the European Film Awards and Venice Film Festival...Official Russian Entry to the Academy Awards...$26.90 down to $10

~"Bon Voyage"Official French Entry to the Oscars 2004...Cabourg Romantic Film Festical winner for Best Director... $26.90 @ $5 =D
and the 2 english films from Hallmark

~"Alice in Wonderland"
Winner of 4 Emmy Awards in 1999
-Outstanding Makeup
-Outstanding Costume Design
-Outstanding Music Composition
-Outstanding Special Visual Effects

~"Gulliver's Travels"
Winner of 5 Emmy Awards in 1996
-Outstanding Individual Achievement in Art Direction
-Outstanding Individual Achievement in Hairstyling
-Outstanding Individual Achievement in Writing
-Outstanding Special Visual Effects
-Outstanding Miniseries

both were $26.90 reduced to 10 bucks a piece...

so if u do the maths i spent a total of $100 for 'em all... i'm such a spendtrift right? =Pnahh... only occasional spending sprees mmhmmm.. like twice a year maybe? haha...(mm maybe i should stop spending and help donate to the newskatesforjamainefund... mmhmmmmm... haha)

i'm really happy... cause there's so many things to be happy about..

1. my new club is sending me for U-19 National Team selections to play in the Asia Pacific Tournament in Singaporelater this year (9th-12thDecember) =) hope i can make the teammm... not getting my hopes up at the mo'but if i make it in all u people reading this better come and give me support at Woodlands Sports Hall.. haha... (if i even make it in first... mmmhmmmmm.....)

2. =) not saying... u'll know soon enough... je te promets =)

3. work's over and school's starting! finally i won't be bored with my free time.. yah yah.. (but i'm not happy that i've to wake up at 6am on 3 days and also that class finishes late on this particular day..=( so irritating... there's a bloody 3 hour break before the last lesson which is stupiddd.. stupid stupid!we people have a life you know! we don't wanna be stuck in school all day... especially since... hmmm.. je ne sais pas peut-être juste peut-être ... maybe maybe maybe si tout va bien

dunno.. i couldn't breathe the whole of friday can.. bcoz of ______ ...and i had a dream about 'something' can i sigh? haha.. haiiiiii.......it was just so... yah haiiiiiiiii (in a good way o'course) i was super giddy.. and the 45 minute bus ride to Victoria for training didn't help... i just felt the air was so thin... haha..(probably because my heart was beating double or maybe even triple the number of times...and my mind was racing) dunoo dunoo dunoooo... but i will i will i will.. i've made up my mind and i will! =)and if it goes wrong i'll... i'll leave that for when it does... "think positive thoughts!"

you'll know soon enough, "this i promise you"
14th October Saturday----------------------------------------------------
title: clarity in a world obscured...
(PICTURE_1)

this is how i measure whether or not the haze is bad... a picture from the window right beside my computer in the study room...i know the haze is above 100psi (unhealthy =( ) if i don't see the sky line of City Hall... in the backdrop on the left of the hdb flats on the right side of te picture...

(PICTURE_2)

and o'course it's obviously bad if i can look straight at the afternoon sun without going blind...

school's starting tomorrow... but i haven't adjsuted myself to sleeping early at night.. yes slept at 4am last night... don't get me wrong, i didn't go to bed at 4am.. i was already in bed at 2.30am?i was thinking.. as usual... didn't feel much like sleeping... the dark and quiet (but for the air-con and ceiling fan, and o'course the occasional creaks and tweaks of the fridge in the dining room) feels so comfortingespecially when i've to get my thoughts straight... and they're... i'm prepared for what may or may not happen laterthis week... though i know not what i'll do after that... ( i find it's best to take things one at a time... especailly if i'm already having trouble sleeping over just the one matter )

but i know what i'm going to do.. ( at least i'd like to think i do.. haha.. see i'm so hmm confident? maybe..)

i haven't yet gotten tw to post these 2 posts for me.. he hasn't been online just yet.. but it's quite interesting..i feel like i'm writing in my personal journal again.. away from the prying eyes of everyone else... though i wouldn't mind some.. after all.. the most introverted people are the people most likely to commit suicide..

http://my.eurekanet.com/~sylea/index.html(don't worry mademoiselle... it's graphic in words.. not in pictures... but if it makes u uncomfortable it's bestyou don't read it eh?)

i stumbled across this website.. looking for pictures to express loneliness... i found one.. of a black dog and apoem to go with it... (click Our Pets and then A Dog Sits Waiting)

i'd advise anyone in depression to the extent of contemplating suicide to read the bit on suicide... especially"The Facts" there's a link at the bottom of the first page which will take you through the thoughts of the wife ofthe man who committed suicide..on her birthday =( ... sad stuff... but it's a wake up call... killing yourself ain'tthe best way to solve your problems... sure it's a fast way.. but there're other ways like working it out that will do so much better than splattering what's left of yourself on the sidewalk below your hdb block...

sad stuff mmhmmm..

sometimes, all you need is someone to share your pain,
share you load,
understand that now, times are tough,
know that what you need is a person to trust.

to catch you before you fall,
to pick you up if they don't get there in time,
to tell you everyday's going to be fine,
to want to be with you forever and ever and ever.
through whatever life throws,
and never never never run away.
to fill the holes you are about to step
to cover you with their coat when it rains,
keeping you warm,
from the cold.
keeping you safe,
in their hands that hold.

to make promises,and to keep them.
to change your world,
for the better.
and then you will
realise,this is what they call love.
this is the song the angels sing above,
this is where no one, is left alone.

=)

hope's place...

One look at love
and you may see
it weaves a web
over mystery,
all ravelled threads
can rend apart
for hope has a place in the lover's heart.
Hope has a place in a lover's heart.

Whispering world,
a sigh of sighs,
the ebb and the flow
of the ocean tides,
one breath, one word
may end or may start
a hope in a place of the lover's heart.
Hope has a place in a lover's heart.

Look to love
you may dream,
and if it should leave
then give it wings.
But if such a love
is meant to be;
Hope is home, and the heart is free.

Under the heavens
we journey far,
on roads of life
we're the wanderers.
So let love rise,
so let love depart,
let hope have a place in the lover's heart.
Hope has a place in the lover's heart.

Look to love
you may dream,
and if it should leave
then give it wings.
But if such a love
is meant to be;
Hope is home, and the heart is free.

----------------------------------

maybe now,
maybe never,
maybe forever...

i suppose...

i suppose it's my move now?
i suppose it's my turn to speak?
i suppose it's my choice of speech?
but i suppose you don't want to hear me preach.

i suppose i'm supposed to?
i suppose there's stuff for me to show?
i suppose there're expectations i don't know?
but i darn't suppose what i'm supposed to do now.

suppose i'm wrong?
suppose it's but a figment of my vast imagination?
suppose some people say 'no way'?
suppose my name isn't the one printed on that chair?
suppose suppose...

one long dayyy...

i'm feel very self-conscious now haha...
i just remembered wat a fellow teammate said to me during training on friday...

Teammate-"So Melvin... what're you doing now? (in ur life) Waiting for NS?"
Moi~" Haha.. Nooooooooo i'm still in my first year of poly.."
tm-"You're 17? still so young?"
moi~"yea... do i look that old???"
tm-"Haha, you look like you're around Keith's age(i think he's 22)"

*stun*... that's not good at all... haha.. looking wat 3 to 5 years older than i actually am? gone is my youthhhh *cries*... gone gone gone... haha...

=]maosi[= says:
one of my club mates ask me whether i'm waiting for NS...
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
0.0
=]maosi[= says:
i'm like i'm first year poly
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
oh man
=]maosi[= says:
he's like oh! so young? i thought u were as old as keith (someone else who's like 22 or something)
=]maosi[= says:
am i that old?
=]maosi[= says:
do i look sooo olddd...
=]maosi[= says:
bad bad bad... haha
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
HAHAHAHA
=]maosi[= says:
it's not funny okayyy .. i look old.. =(
=]maosi[= says:
*cries*
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
haha
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
dont cry la
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
cut my hair style
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
look like small boy
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
my brother say i look like pri4...
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
:x
=]maosi[= says:
it's good ok!
=]maosi[= says:
Youthful
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
haha
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
too small la
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
what p4
=]maosi[= says:
i dun wanna cut my hair...
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
HAHA
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
too bad then
=]maosi[= says:
ifan told me if i look older it's better haha...
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
cut more mature hair style
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
why
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
lolz
=]maosi[= says:
but i dont wanna be old!!!!!
=]maosi[= says:
and i dont wanna cut my hair!!! i dont think it's just the hair
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
maosi ancien
=]maosi[= says:
it's my face... do i have age wrinkles or something?!
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
yeah (wat the hell do you mean by yeah?! haha...)
=]maosi[= says:
haha.. i mean.. what do you think? do i look old?
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
age wrinkles
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
go get some cream (the cow that is tw.... haha...)
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
must
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
ok la
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
you look like abt 18-20 like that
=]maosi[= says:
nooooooo... whyyyy whyyyy why so oldd looking...
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
what 22
=]maosi[= says:
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
abit too old la
=]maosi[= says:
that guy looks 19 or 20
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
you can't pass for 21
=]maosi[= says:
but i think he's 22
tw /// vincit qui patitur says:
lol what nutsd

haha..
went to watch World Trade Centre with Ifan today... i was a good movie.. i particularly liked the scene where the wife of the guy whose stuck in the rubble steps out into the street at night and we can see the lights from the tvs inside all the houses in the neighbourhood on... very niceeee..

i feel a wee bit content and happy.. i finally found something... nice =) haha...
*shhh it's a secret...*

i give this promise,
that i will find the peace.
that through all the bitter tastes,
i'll do all i can, all i can, to make 'this' world a better place...

calme...

i live to let you shine..

training was good as usual... nearly got 50 push-ups for doing a drill wrongly.. nearly... but still playing pretty ok... not at the peak though... scored i think 3 goals? (1 back-hand tap in, 1 slap-shot that got deflected and found it's way to goal all the same and 1 ,with the help of a defence splitting pass setting me clean through to take the ball around the gk...) fun all the same.. =D though i would have prefered if i had assited more... but hey u gotta take wat u have infront of you right? yeshyeshyesh...

the haze's really really bad.. it was all foggy in the hall we were training in.. wish i had got a picture... but i've got pictures of the outside oui...


-pictures from the bus 70 stop outside me estate..
seee really very bad right? (i like the first picture haha... somehow the angle is just nice.. je ne sais pas..)

-and i got bored during the 15min walk in...
seee u can see the beams of the headlights.. really thick stuff... (haha perfect timing right? the car was moving ok.. it's not easy taking good pictures with the cam on my phone.. no aperture and shuttle speed and watever... and the zoom causes the red an green dots... i still like pic 1 )

if it was fog it wouldn't be so bad... i mean at least it'd be slightly more refreshing than hazeee...
so much for no smoking in public places... doesn't make a huge difference if *ahemhem* country keeps having ppl doin slash and burn farming (my geography isn't that bad after all... =P) and all their random burning...
it's a new weapon of mass destruction... extreme air pollution.. haha .. all u need is a nice big forrest, a match and tada! u have E.A.P. haha...

dancing in the orange mist,
taking on the world, waving my fist.
almost like a beautiful dream,
take my hand, and we'll fly through the orange beams.

shaken up.. but healing at last..

it's been a rough couple of days for me... was ... well i think the only word to describe it is depressed... had it pretty bad too...
(i mean... don't u think it's bad when i listen to Sad beyond sad and Suicidal painful evanescence songs? )
and i'm still gonna buy their new album later before dinner with the teachers, smiley lady and tw... (at least they say they've got a couple of songs about happiness... but i prefer it when Amy Lee sings about sad stuff... angry stuff.. she's really good at that... yesh yesh....)

'Crimson Regret'... regret paid in blood...washed away by tears...

yes.. for the pass couple of days i've only ears for "Hello My Tourniquet" which i put together... what a freaking killer combo haha....
(i've pretty much memorised both songs... and i really love the way the lyrics are placed... and how everything is phrased like 'Crimson Regret'.. so descriptive yet simple right?

the laughs are back... a small smile has crept back onto face..

i've received a lot of good news and signs yesterday...
my club team manager said this to me yesterday during training...
"Melvin, it's likely you'll be playing centre (imagine a 2-1-2 formation) for us.. you've got the height and reach and u can hold the ball up... jsut have to work on your distribution... and you;ll have to get some more muscle on you.." *Stun* "do you do weight-training?" *Stun*
i hate lifting weights... so boring haha... and so not me ya know? i've bad experiences haha...
the weightlifting club in my school is full of sick guys who like staring at themselves in the gym mirrors and blasting techno while yelling and lifting weights.. (it sounded like all of the were having..... well ... there's no nice way to put it so i ain't gonna say it haha.. but you should get the general errr... ugly picture.. haha)

it's likely i'm gonna enjoy myself very much playing for my current club.. but there's a mini-problem that might happen because of me...
i'm set to play for 'millenia skools floorball' next year... and i really like the players over there.. all really really friendly.. most of them are PE teachers from many many schools.. there aren't that many players in this team and not many can come regularly for training..
and then the stunner... keith the guy who brought me into the club told me the coach might be interested in me playing with 'millenia skools innebandy' (the stronger mens team in the club)
and i'm thinking.. if it does happen.. and i'm asked to go over to Innebandy.. i don't know what i'll do.... i mean.. it'll create fricition between the 2 teams.. because Floorball is already in dire need of players and everything.. on the other hand playing with Innebandy wouldn't be such a bad thing because they've got really really good players.. and i can learn alot from 'em... i'll have a chance to win the League with them.. if it does happen.. howwwww????!
(i'm really flattered.. i've never had anyone fight over me before *rolls-eyes* haha.. k... i must not get cocky... oui... too much pride gives you a bad attitude... )

so many complicated issues too little time given to settle them all...

speaking of cocky...
i rmb... (god i can't remember his name) i think it was Mr.Foo i think.. a PE teacher in stgabs sec.. i remember he once told me he thought i've a big ego... *Stun (yes again...haha)*
haha.. ifan should know this one.. haha.. i never did tell mr.foo what i thought about that comment haha.. just because i gave it my all (yes during a PE session.. what can i say.. i'm a very competitive person haha..) and improvised my game a little (as i always do) by trying something fancy and back-heeling the ball at goal haha... ( i missed by the way hahaha.. hey.. i'm no soccer player..)
Big Ego... oui... haha... and he also knows me as the 'Airhooker' don't think he knows my bloody name at all... haha... it's embarrasing for me when he comes out of no where and just announces to the entire floorball team "The Airhooker Returns!" when i went back to help out with their trainings... *covers face with his hands*

it'll be nice to know... =)

Hello My Tourniquet...

*Now Playing Evanescence - Hello & My Tourniquet*

i'm not smiling...
suddenly i know i'm not sleeping... it's not just a nightmare to wake up from.. but to wake up into everyday...

i tried to kill the pain... but there's just too much ...
i'm dying, praying, bleeding and screaming...
am i too lost??! can i not be saved??!!!
my tourniquet... return it to me!
return to me my salvation!!!

it hasn't killed me.. and it won't

it was a pretty killer night last night... i haven't felt that frustrated and angry in a really long time... nearly a year maybe?
everytime i read those string of words.. or even go 'near' them... or think about it... i feel what i'm feeling now... a surge of blood to my head... feels like the air is collapsing in around me... the headache is making me dizzy... yes dizzy with anger i am... this's a first... just feel so agitated...
i've snapped.... and looking for the glue...

it's true "What Doesn't Kill You, Will Make You Stronger"

i'm not wrecked yet... in fact.... i'm a weee bit high.. thinking pretty straight... just need some time to soak up the blow... it'd be the old me if i came here and put together a post with a high concentration of vulgarities... that would have been the first thing i would do last time... use angry words to express a angry person...
but i'm a changed person... eradicating that old side of me... where i'd snap so easily... personally i think it was the angry music... too much limp bizkit and screamer yeller yeller stuff...
(i'm skipping all the calm songs on iTunes at the mo'... it seems most of the songs i let play are hoobastank ones... )

the hardest part about these kinda things is the letting go part.. letting go and saying i've no regrets... that's a toughy...
i think what i need is the end of the year... things will change as they always do... i'll be able to push away the issue and leave it to rest... as i've done to 3 other issues just like it in my past...
same old same old....

i will outlast this storm... i will take no companions with me on my long winding road..
survive the long winter... and arrive in spring...

*Now Playing Evanescense - Hello*

a night to remember...

a good Entertainer, never reveals his true thoughts and feelings to the audience...
as of now all of you, are that audience....

the things i see with my eyes closed...

i *bang* can't *bang* can't *bang* can't *bang* sleeeeeeeeeep!!
my eyes are tight shut.. but it's like i've got a screen under my eyelids... i still see stuff!!!
i tried wiggling my toes (some random thing i found on the internet to help smiley lady when she was having trouble sleeping...) but it's not working...... its already deux heures moins le quart (1.45am)
i tried counting sheeep but the sheep are all tired out and sleeping themselves!!! talk about selfish sheep! i'm gonna send all of them to the slaughter house first thing after work tomorrow and make lamb chops outta them all.... muahahahha*evil-laugh*
what am i too doooooo.... (a hardworking me would say... Do your french homework monsieur...)
but alas i'm not hardworking am i ?
let's see... there's nothing interesting on tv at this mo'...
there's nothing interesting to do at alllllll! at this time! i don't feel like going for a walk cause i'm squeaky clean *squeaks* seeee....
watching one of the many movies i have isn't such a good idea now either... cause i'll definitely stay up through the entire darn thing.. and by the time it ends it'll be 5 am... so 1 hour of sleep is the same as no sleep..
"NO DREAMS bcoz NO SLEEP!"
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo time is ticking awayyyyy... noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo it's still ticking awayyyyyyy...
i blame myself for eating alot throughout the entire day.. now i've got too much energy stored in me... (talk about bad planning)
maybe i should sneak into the clubhouse and take a swim in the swimming pool heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee*sneakkkyyyy* of course there's the risk of being caught by the security guard who seems never to sleep because he isn't suppose tooo because he's there to serve and protect! (k whatever im not making sense...)
who's up for late supper???? =P jalan kayu roti prata anyoneeee??????? *crickets chirping*
oi!!! i'm talking to youuuu! *snoreeeee snoreeee snoreeee*
don't make me go over there, you.... "Not *yawnnn* now u nag... can't you keep it down? it's 2 am in the mornn*yawwnnn*ing.... "
But but *goes back to sleepp..*
*maosi lets out a verbal assualt few will forget...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!*
(of course not many will even register it because they're all dead as logs they aree *nods head*)
"Where... is... the.. driver??? *snoreeeeeee*"

ok... i think i've ran out of randomness... gonna go make myself a hot cuppa milo...
(with 'beng?' :P)
No! no ice you cow.. that'll defeat the purpose of drinking the milo...
(but... but...)
No! shutup youuu..
(no you shutup...)
don't tell me to shutup you screw-up!
(well it takes one to know one screw-up buddy!)
i'm not a screw-up! you're just disturbing me because you are insecure...
(insecure? hahahhahahaa... hahahahhahahaa)
what's so funny????
(hahahahhahahahahahhahahahahhaa....)
shut-up!
(MUAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA....)
*maosi let's lose the 2nd verbal assualt in 5 minutes few would forget...* AHHHHHH!!!
*in the distance a elderly man is playing the violin for 'inspiration'* "Ehhh? who let out George of the Jungle arrrr???"
(ha....)
are you done?
(yep =P...)
goood...
*door bell rings... a policeman is standing outside the house..*
"Hi sir... we received a complaint from an elderly man saying he heard George of the Jungle yelling... it disturbed his search for 'inspiration' ... is everything alright?"
(AHAHHAHAHHAHHA!)
of course it is officer... thank you for the concern and if i see george i'll let him know you came by... thank you have a pleasant evening...

turning around to pick up the pieces...

it's been a vertical climb up the cliff face...
against all odds he's been able to hang on for such a long time already...
he's finally there, he's looking over the cliff edge to see what's on top...
"So this is it... this is the reason i climbed so high..."
the sight doesn't please him... he doesn't like it.. but he can't do it... a song is playing in the air high above the world... he sits amongst the clouds all the more overwhelmed by stupidity...
but now he understands... he's seen the picture... he knows the ending if he goes pulls himself onto the top...
"No... this is not my end... so goodbye my friend until we meet again some other day..."
letting go he holds out his arms to as if he's soaring like a eagle... and to the blind he seems to only fall and not soar... but he's flying... flying away into the distance right back to where he started... picking up the pieces to a old life left behind starting a completely unseen path... the new one he's been looking for ceases to exist... no backward glance of regret...

*Now Playing Hoobastank - Say The Same*