it hasn't killed me.. and it won't

it was a pretty killer night last night... i haven't felt that frustrated and angry in a really long time... nearly a year maybe?
everytime i read those string of words.. or even go 'near' them... or think about it... i feel what i'm feeling now... a surge of blood to my head... feels like the air is collapsing in around me... the headache is making me dizzy... yes dizzy with anger i am... this's a first... just feel so agitated...
i've snapped.... and looking for the glue...

it's true "What Doesn't Kill You, Will Make You Stronger"

i'm not wrecked yet... in fact.... i'm a weee bit high.. thinking pretty straight... just need some time to soak up the blow... it'd be the old me if i came here and put together a post with a high concentration of vulgarities... that would have been the first thing i would do last time... use angry words to express a angry person...
but i'm a changed person... eradicating that old side of me... where i'd snap so easily... personally i think it was the angry music... too much limp bizkit and screamer yeller yeller stuff...
(i'm skipping all the calm songs on iTunes at the mo'... it seems most of the songs i let play are hoobastank ones... )

the hardest part about these kinda things is the letting go part.. letting go and saying i've no regrets... that's a toughy...
i think what i need is the end of the year... things will change as they always do... i'll be able to push away the issue and leave it to rest... as i've done to 3 other issues just like it in my past...
same old same old....

i will outlast this storm... i will take no companions with me on my long winding road..
survive the long winter... and arrive in spring...

*Now Playing Evanescense - Hello*