The Best Way To Kill A Roach (or any bug for that matter)

here's melvin's method. It may sound sadistic, or harsh, or whatever.. but fact of the matter is that it is for some reason extremely satisfying (for me at least)...

so i saw a roach just now (lol yes.. tested and proven! WAHA!)
yes so i saw a roach just now (*wink) and so as i do i went to get the pesticide and i stumbled across my insect repellant.
this bright light streaked across and i thought this was an idea.

Why not make the roach hate itself just like you hate it?

the general idea of insect repellant is that insects don't like it for some reason or another. you applying it to whatever and they stay away from it.

ever had the feeling like you're covered in something ickey and disgusting and you just can't wait to get a shower? for example if you fell into a huge pool of shit? wouldn't you so hate yourself because you stunk?

well shit doesn't work with roaches but REPELLANT SURE DOES! WOO!

so spray the bloody thing and make it hate itself!
to my knowledge it doesn't kill it (cause mine was trying to escape but with funny twitches and i swear i could almost hear something like "OMG GET IT OFF ME! AHHHHHH IT BURNSSSSSSS IT BURNSSSS USSSSS! HELP HELP! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
OH GOD SOMEONE JUST KILL ME NOW!" *pause tape*.. did i hear that? let's rewind to be sure
":AKSUDHK:AMND:QWIJF :KSAF:KHAF
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW" *stop, playback*
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
OH GOD SOMEONE JUST KILL ME NOW!"

HAH! now you're not being heartless for killing it which is a much greater sin than torture i think, you're actually putting it out of misery! You actually have it's permission to kill it! :D HOW COOL IS THAT?!

"Okey dokey just sign here...... wookay done..... NOW TAKE A FACE FULL OF PESTICIDE MOTHA*^&(*^#er AND DIE!"

*PESTICIDE!*

after it had flipped itself over and died, (if yours still twitches you could try the neat trick of putting a lighter infront of your pesticide and spraying.. but you didn't hear it from me! and please make sure nothing else flammable is in the vicinity.) yes so after it had flipped over and died, i found i could not hold back an evil laugh that was coming from within me.. and god.. so damn satisfying..

Haste la vista, baby *spits*

(If you experience trouble with your roach please feel free to call Schwarzenegger Roach Killas
"If it bleeds, we can kill it" - Arnold Schwarzenegger in Predator)