laughter is definitely the best medicine... =D

i picked up a old copy of reader's digest in my living room and browsed through to my fav parts... (the funny parts of course!)
here's some of em.. enjoy!

Holy, Holy Moley

God's servants work in mysterious ways, as evidenced by the following bloopers form church bulletins and the pulpit:

1. Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
(hahahha.. hahahhaha...this one had me in stitches for like 5 minutes hahahaha....
Bertha must be the world record holder for "Loudest Belcher" if we can hear her from Calvary while she's belching away in Africa... hahaha..)

2.The year eight students will be presenting Shakespear's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7pm. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
(that bad huhhh? haha...)

3.Barbara remains in the hospital. She is having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
(poor jack... he's gonna be heartbroken if he hears this person having a go at him...
"Calling me boring are ya? I'll show you..."
'Quiet sir... she's already sleepinggg...'

4.Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24th. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
(hahahahahahahaa... so evil these ppl... hahaha... )

-----

Life's Like That

1."I called my local gas utility for help with a minor malfunction in my outdoor gas grill. Their automated phone system put me on hold for over 20 minutes. As i waited, I was grateful my problem wasn't worse - especially when i heard a pre-recorded message repeatedly advise, "If you smell gas, stay on the line."
(O.O) haha...

2."Because they had no reservations at a busy restaurant, my elderly neighbour and his wife were told there would be a 45-minute wait for a table.
"Young man we're both 90 years old," the husband told the maître d'. "We may not have 45 minutes." They were seated immediately.
(-maitre d' n : a diningroom attendant who is in charge of the waiters and the seating of customers ...- it pays to be oldddd after all haha....)

3."Like all growing boys, my teenage grandson, Jermon, was constantly hungry. I went to my refrigerator to find something he might like to eat. After poking around a bit and moving the milk and juice cartons, I was about to give up when I spotted a bowl of leftover chili.
"Hey, Jermon," I called out. He came running into the kitchen. "Look! I found some chili in the back of the fridge." Struggling to be polite, he said, "If you're not surprised, I'm not really sure I want it."
(seeeee there are people worse off then me okay!! haha...
yes there's expired stuff everywhere in my house but at least i dont go searching for stuff and feeding my guests hahaha... except for that one time when benja, matt, ifan and darren came over to play floorball.. and we had milo since matt was late (as usual)... benja thought it tasted funny and looked at the expiry date... it had expired a year before (hahahahaha...) to help show him nothing was wrong with it.. i downed my entire cup bravely (i think stupidly would be a better word hahahahaha...) and matt showed up and we gave him benja's cup of milo mmhmm hahaha...
"wah they treat me so nice suddenly.. make milo for mee.. i must be important man... hur hur hur *drinks up the milo*"
"eh matt... the condensed milk we used expired a year ago..."
*matt's jaw drops...*
he went home to splash his insides out from his bottom end ouiii haha... i survived mhmmm.. dunno maybe my stomach's used to the weird things i eat... haha... scaryyyyy...

okayyy going back to watch liverpool... more funny stuff later.. or tmrrr oui oui.. hahahhaa