something beautiful...

life was perfect today....
nothing bad happened at all... im happy that out of all the absolute horrible and slightly horrbile days, there is one just like today....
i did pretty well for intro to film (results were good... could have been better but none the less good)
art&design assignment done and gone (no more worrying that my com might just crash any second)
had no less than 6 addictive pancakes for lunch (2 cheese and 4 chocolate haha like freaky for a small guy like me to eat so much haha... oh well u have to pamper yourself sometimes haha)
collected team jerseys, they are excellent... extremely good...
erez found us a match sec....
the weekend is here
good football tonight
a beautiful sunset (ive got pictures to prove)
discovery of a beautiful song... (and something else along with it)

so many good stuff... even if i spent all day looking for bad stuff i don think i would have been able to find any =D...

*Now Playing Keith Urban's -"Making Memories Of Us"

I'm gonna be here for you baby
I'll be a man of my word
Speak the language in a voice that you have never heard
I wanna sleep with you forever
And I wanna die in your arms
In a cabin by a meadow where the wild bees swarm

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

I wanna honor your mother
I wanna learn from your pa
I wanna steal your attention like a bad outlaw

I wanna stand out in a crowd for you
A man among men
I wanna make your world better than it's ever been

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us

We'll follow the rainbow
Wherever the four winds blow
And there'll be a new day
Comin' your way

I'm gonna be here for you from now on
This you know somehow
You've been stretched to the limits but it's alright now
And I'm gonna make you a promise
If there's life after this
I'm gonna be there to meet you with a warm, wet kiss

And I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll earn your trust making memories of us
I'm gonna love you like nobody loves you
And I'll win your trust making memories of us

amazing song... thats why ive set this song as the next song tw and me must record yep yep yep.... im sure we'll get a cd up for grabs by the end of the year if i keep finding amazing songs like this....

apparently Keith Urban who just married Nicole Kidman (congratulations!) played a acoustive version of this song at their wedding... and it drove everyone to tears...
pretty cool how a song if used in the right context can trigger emotions and feelings....

"something beautiful right in front of me"

unique

ever felt like your mind/soul/heart/concentration was somewhere else then inside your body with you?... ever felt like that? thats kinda what i was today... (notice the purposeful use of past tense)
then i heard "Everywhere I Go" ... and i realised something... i realised i was somewhat unique i guess (self-praise roll eyes if u wish) But really how many people do you know that actually stares at the sky for at least 30 minutes everyday (im not crazy or seeing things... i just like to see people's reactions when they see me staring up and they stare up too wondering why in heck i am staring up hahaha... nah im just joking)? appreciating the breath taking beauty... i find no matter how far is tray from the "path", im guided back in the most astounding ways...
(this sounds just like im a sheep and my shepherd is guiding me.... im still a freethinker mind you)


"A good bit of me keeps to the sky
On the back of a cloud unaware of how high"

Sometimes i feel im like a "bridge over troubled water"
the water below me isnt to welcoming...
icy cold salt water...
deep see monsters... ( dun laugh k... everyones worst nightmare is the unknown mmmm)
i know that if i fall in i will nt be able to rescue myself....

okie... mr.maosi is gonna teach all u nice people out there something u mustn't forget (though maosi tends to forget it himself but hey the teacher is always lousier than the students right? if not what for they become teacherS? haha =P nah im just kidding)
study the picture and tell me what you see?

( i did not take this photo... i found this photo on the web but unfortunately i forgot where it was from =(.... i want to thank the photographer for the picture and sorry i forgot your name haha)

-Wrinkles? (that probably means hardship and age... but it can mean experience as well =D)
-Long hair?( shows us his age... shows us he isnt the riches man on earth...)

but look closely... even though he has went through tough times and tough he isnt the richest man on earth he is definitely happy mmmmm... he is content with life... but not over-content....

the line that seperates...

kinda tired right now... might turn in early... disappointed as usual...
disappointed at myself? mayb...
maybe im just not cutout for stuff like this.. never was never will be...
lack of confidence? mayb
scared of smthin? mayb
maosi has never dared to try to cross over that border...
he has never tried...
and maybe he won't for the rest of his life...
heres a example

here is maosi
(o.o)
heres the line ------------------------
heres whats over the line ^.^*.*=)=D=P=>

that my friends his happiness... (limited but its the best i could do...)

Maosi stands on the edge of his border. He is confused and upset because he cannot cross over to the other side...
why did maosi want to cross the border?
to get to the other side hahhahahaa....

wat if he is treated like a illegal immigrant? a unwelcomed guest?
wat if he is chased away by security Guards and Guard dogs??
wat if he disrupts the peace on the other side?
wat if he starts a war between the 2 Nations?
wat if all he sees happens to be a lie?

he may never recover from the trauma caused... he may become as looney as tw nw (cause he realised he forgot some notes or something along that lines... the notes he need to study badly for tomorrows test =( )

theres a reason why Nations/Countries/States are seperated by lines mmm...

Song madness with maosi and noone else!!

*Now Playing Everywhere I Go - Shawn Mullins*

I always take you with me... everywhere I go

A good bit of me sleeps underneath
In the bed of my soul lying next to belief
If I toss where I lay I might turn her away
So I try to fall still dreamin' someday I will
Wake up with you beside me
With all of your love inside me
So when I am gone it guides me on

Everywhere I go
You know
I take you with me sweet darlin'
Everywhere I go
You know
I take you with me
Yeah

A good bit of me keeps to the sky
On the back of a cloud unaware of how high
If I stay where I lay I might drift away soon
From the pull of the sun I am full of the moon
But baby you're the one who grounds me
When the sounds of this world surrounds me
Your love it took a look and found me lost
and on my own

Everywhere I go
You know
I take you with me sweet darlin'
Everywhere I go
You know
I take you with me

Baby I always try to look at life through open eyes
Baby my dreams came true with the treasure
I found inside of you

Everywhere I go
You know
I take you with me sweet darlin'
Everywhere I go
You know
I take you with me
Everywhere I go
You know
I take you with me sweet darlin'
Everywhere I go
You know
I take you with me

I relate to this song so well yeppa yeppa.....
I shall make sure this is one of the songs tw and me play for our CD.... oui i love it!
hehe

a Xtremely unusual day

27th June 2006 tuesday...
ive no idea whats up with today... bad stuff just kept happening to me today...
1) got a C grade for photography.. =( im gonna make sure i do Xtremely well for Assignment2... merde!
2)Laptop crashed half way when i was editing my Art&Design video and i didnt save like MERDE!!!! (by the time rez and i finished it was already 7.30pm like grrrr 3.45pm to 7.30pm doing a 3 minute video/podcast/project)
3)Nearly lost audio files on Rez's laptop for the same Art&Design video... MERDE x2 !!!
4) didnt eat anything whole day except 2 yummy chesse pancakes and some chips.. (ils ont tres addictive!!! =P )
5)boarded the wrong bus on my way back home.. thought 77 could go to newton circus but it didnt!!!! it turned into some ulu street and i was like O.O (had to walk all the way back to main road and i was right to do so cause the next bloody bus didnt even pass by me the entire walk out like GRAND MERDE!!!!

but somehow... with so many bad things happening to me, i manage to wear a smile on my face... really odd im usually a very expressive/emotional person... maybe i was actually happy! but over what?????
je ne sais pas.. ive got no idea... absolutely no idea... maybe its cause i feel things can only get better after a merde~y day like today... (rez thinks differently haha... arshole! im gonna kill him for reminding me of the very thing i was trying to avoid remembering but now he's reminded me it wont get out of my head PLUS! he told me since things can only get better im probably gonna pick the string i dropped back up into my hands *takes a couple of deep breaths after saying such a long paragraph @ one short hehehe reminds me of DX "yoyo i speak to fast u cant hear me yo"*)

i know my heart and soul agree with rez...
and my mind now seems like it weighs a ton or something and the insides are all messy with stuff everywhere... confusion is coming back to me and i really dont know what to do...

tell me if i am right...
A very smart mindful person can be the smartest/most intelligent person on earth... but if he doesnt have a caring heart no one will like him/he will not be appreciated....
on the other hand
A person who may not be the smartest who may even be the dumbest person on earth! (exaggeration here haha =P ) but has a caring heart... a caring soul... dont you think it would be easier for him to be accepted by people as a friend?

ladies and gentlemen i believe ive just proven myself wrong and im actually too my own surprise happy about it hahaha...
proven that no matter how hard u set your mind to something against the wishes/dreams/hopes of your heart and soul, your heart and soul are still going to come out tops... in other words win the battle of emotion/feelings/memory/everything else i cant think of now....

A xtremely unusual day... for so much bad to happen but im smiling as if so much good has happened... Xtremely unusual.... =)

The Red Violin

watched a amazing film in school today... i was so captivated by it that even though i had only slept 2 hours (4am to 6am) that i was able to stay awake for the whole thing! and probably absorb just as much as usual...
its a interesting, touching and inspiring(not in that way la! =P ) film... mmmm...

i went to the jersey place after lessons to check out our home jerseys and pass the guy our white logos for the away ones....


i know it looks brown in the pic thats cause ive got a lousy camera phone =\ but hey u cant have everything... its actually kinda bright orange like the old one mmmm...

i was "jumping" in and out of la la land on the taxi ride home (too tired couldnt imagine myself taking a bus =P ) ... dreaming about something im not gonna share just yet( this story is not ready for a press release)... mmmm but i can tell u 1 thing.... it was a sweeet dream .... (king dont think bout the wrong things...)

hmmm already 10.40pm but i still dont feel like going to bed....

pretty boring post... but if my life was exciting everyday i think i would have lived to my limits once i hit 20 mmmm

Concentrate!!!

Hmmm school starts tomorrow.. and its already 11.30pm...
theres gonna be more work, more assignments more running around so tiring (but fun).... BUT! MAIS!
My mind is set on one thing! (dont think about the wrong thing nigel haha =P)
THE FLOORBALL SEASON IS STARTING THIS WEEKEND!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! sfeeeeee!

So i wanna ask all you people out there to come and support us for our 1st game...

NightHawks Floorball vs Millenia Skools Unihockey 6pm @ Tampines Sports Hall

DX dont forget to bring your jester hat if you come down.. we shall build up our fan base haha.. maybe we we'll make nighthawks fan shirts for u guys (of course u buy haha)

WeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEE will we will rock you!!!
"Hawkies! *boom... boom boo doo boom boom... boom boom* HAWKIES! *boom... boom boo doo boom boom... boom boom* "

sfeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sfe sfeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

people care...

i was on the 854 to rez's place when i saw something unique... something that you dont see often in a conservative urban world...
this chinese man (maybe in his 40's) was arguing with a malay sbs transit employee who was checking if everyone had tapped their ez card...

these are somethings i heard him say

".... if i get fine i come find you.."
"...5 cents...."
"... write write your name..."
"oi... come back write your your name..."
"i am singaporean.... you from where? dont walk away.."

you know isit just me? or was that last one racist?
when the sbs guy got of, mr.racist decided to go up to the driver and ask for his details... and to my astonishment i heard this from other passengers...

"OI! KP la!"
"OI!"
and dumb mr.racist started explaining his side (which i didnt understand as it was in hokkien)
but a whole lot of the other older passengers most as old if not older than mr.racist began to scold him..
"SIT DOWN AND SHUTUP!"
*a couple of passengers clapped in support of this statement*
mr.racist had met his match... he thought that just because he was chinese, that he is of a higher class than the malay sbs transit worker... he believed his miserable dream was true until he was put down by his fellow chinese for doing such a thing...

the dumbest people on earth are people like this...
i really dont understand what he is doing in singapore...
he should just ship himself of to china where he will be with his 'kind'.....
why do people need to do stupid things like that???

even though i was angry at this dumbass, i realised the rest of the people in the bus... did show respect for the malay guy... im sure the bus driver will definitely tell his colleague what happened after he left... yep yep yep...

hmmmmm people really do care in this conservative urban world.. even though u dont see it...
=)
-------------------------------------------

im having a hard time trying to overcome this emotion... its kinda difficult to explain... but its sorta like being happy and sad at the same time... (its not possible if you think about it)

sometimes the truth hurts...

I wanna start the post by saying sorry to legin... im feeling i must have been irritating telling you my problems like a heartbroken 13 year-old.... but u also must know u helped me see the real real truth... (indirectly) haha...

ive been lying to myself... (2-way)... well it isnt...
i told someone im not like the rest... yeah i wasnt like the rest... but ive lost that uniqueness...
this just means ive been such a great liar lying and lying and lying to myself over and over again, that ive somehow managed to trick my mind, heart and soul into believing what isnt....

ive found freedom with my decision
and my decision is to "let go of the rope"...
i dont wana play the tug of ___ (tug of war)...
i dont wanna play cat and mouse...

it took me awhile to accept that but hey i had all of last night... haha the best time to solve your problems is at night remember? haha
my lied to heart and soul will torment me for the next couple of days/weeks/months? but a different part of me knows ive made the right decision... my mind has accepted the fact... i can lie to my heart and soul as much as i want.. but my mind is the only 1 that thinks... what is a heart without a mind? what is a soul without a mind?
yep yep yep..

thanks legin!
off the 2 choices i put infront of myself.. i chose to "play it safe..."

aurevoir ppl.....

changes to a unwanted life..

hmmm i was on my way to visit the big chicken at the singapore river... and on the mrt i felt i didnt really want my life to be so errrr sad all the time..
like so depressing.. i was looking at all the happy people around... there was just not 1 sad person surrounding me today.. i was like a black button in a box of white ones... like im spoiling the entire atmosphere!!
how selfish of me to do something like that....
i received a award at my old secondary schools speech day this year.. for "Self-less acts..." and i realised i used to be different... i used to be happy to do tons and tons of favours for deserving people... i used to show more care and concern to those around me.. i used to care for the people around me first before caring for myself.. i used to put myself 2nd in line everytime.. i used to do really small things no one notices (random but.. i used to let ppl get out of the mrt first and so on...) hmmmmmmmm.... how isit that someone like me could stray from my path?! even when i had a compass and map with me all the time...
some "alien" object must have interferred with the magnetic fields mmm... hahaha... im even laughing more now i try to find funny stuff around me... =D

maosi used to live to make people laugh... he was the 24/7 FOC jester/clown/joker/funny guy to everyone he knew.... maosi loved to make people laugh and maosi wants to continue loving that gift... not everyone can do that ok! haha... =P ...
it seems maosi was sent to this earth by someone to bring joy and laughter and care and concern and respect and all the other good things that i cant think of right now to everyone... Yep yep yep!
maosi has been to self-centered lately and hates himself for that and thats probably why he felt so depressed.. to the world he owes one big apology(for being self-centered) , one big thank you (for being understanding) and one big bear huggy( i dont know what for but i just felt like a hug hahaha =D )....
maosi is back everyone! and hes gonna make u laugh your socks right off em' smelly feet and stink the world!
*sings*
Stink the world... make it a smelly place!
for you and for you (me? =P) and the entire human race!
there are people dying! cause it stinks so bad they cant liiiive
make a stinky place for you and for you... you and for you, you and for you.....
haha thankyou very much u've been a wonderful audience..

=D

not possible for me

ive finally come to my senses and realised something thats been staring me straight in the face...
what i want is not possible for me.. now...
i can already hear RM going on and on about how he was right all along... and HM has left me i guess... it seems he wishes not to speak and has finally given in...
a feel some emotion that i cant express in words... mixed emotions...
some part of me is still singing IRIS.... but a larger part of me has already given up...
Its not like me to give up easily on things... its only happened twice in my life...
this would be that 2nd time...
the first time was slightly less painful than this i guess....

gonna visit the big chicken at singapore river today..... trying to keep a open mind and see what i can think off once im there... ive read a couple of websites going on and on about it... apparently one blogger says the sculpture reminds him of the movie/documentary "Super Size Me".... whereas in another(a art competition or something) young students have written stories about it and they have written things like how the bird flies of to iraq to fight for peace... and so on... sounds like something i would have written back then haha... anything is possible when u dont know how real the world is right?

anything is possible...... pretty ironic considering what i just typed at the beginning of this entry... i think i hear HM talking again... i guess im gonna go on believing that crazy things do happen in a "real" world..... even with the complications and negatives staring me in the face.. i will go on believing... sounds like something out of steven gerrard's books... the guy simply never quits... thats why hes such a great example for moi... hes like a nike add all by himself...
"Just do it"... and he puts in 2 outstanding goals to keep liverpool level at the FA Cup... he puts in one of the goals that help liverpool win the champs league... hes such a important person and i want to be just like him... a important player both on court and off... mmm the league is starting soon.. i hope i can get this mystery that has been plaguing me solved by then.. it drains me of my concentration and i wont live up to my dream this year (top the points chart hehe.. more assists than goals of course)... a team game is a team game after all.. and sure u can score the best solo goals that only you will remember but u can help create a greater goal with the team.. creativity .... mmmmmmmm... ive been having some dreams where i freeze during a game.. so unlike me to all those that know me on court.. ive been training so hard... so please... help me through this difficult time in my life... lead me away from distractions and guide me to the place where i can find the things that ive been searching for...

another long post............ so many thoughts so little time... so many emotions so few words to describe for all.... so much space and endless time but so little is happening in there...

hi...

when i wrote the if onlys i was in a really bad mood...
but i feel spmewhat better now.. things just turned around onto the right track again

Rollercoasters of life
mmm =)

If onlys of a life.......

If only I had what I wanted
If only my world had peace
If only I was happy now
If only happiness lasted forever
If only there was no such thing as confusion
If only there was no such thing as anger
If only there was no such thing as pain
If only I knew what to do
If only I would listen to god
If only life isnt about decisions
If only I know not how to hate
If only I know not how to anger others
If only the world could not see me
If only you know who I am
If only my life was full of happiness
If only my life was not full of sadness
If only I was smart enough to turn things away
If only I did not know you
If only you knew
If only I had guts enough to take chances
If only you could feel this
If only I could just remember a moment
If only I didnt miss you at night
If only I didnt need to think
If only I was a mindless block of wood
If only I didnt know how to cry
If only I had no heart
If only I had no soul
If only people would just get along
If only people would just understand
If only people were the same
If only people loved and respected each other
If only I were in paradise
If only you are my paradise
If only I had you
If only I could forget
If only I could forget about you
If only I didnt know about you
If only I didnt know you
If only I was a bird
If only I had a escape
If only I did not have any If onlys in my life.... it would be so much better

*Now Playing- "Goo Goo Dolls - Iris"*

some thought needed....

most things in life need a certain amount of thought...
but there are things that need more thought than others...
and most of these 'things' that need more thought usually involve strong emotions
(e.g. anger/hate, depression/sadness, confusion, love and the list just goes on)
somehow u realise most of the examples kinda are alike in the sense that the subject is often not happy and there starts the problem...

to much thinking is more effective than caffeine for keeping someone up all night @.@... it is one of the most irritating and frustrating experiences someone can go through and it can last for days...
it wont go away until the person finds some kind of answer to his/her unanswered questions in life....

i dont think theres any short cut cure to it... it takes time to overcome
(so dont go telling your friend dont think about whatever if he/she is thinking too much about it... never helps you are just reminding them of it and interrupting their thought process which means they have to start all over again even if they are already at 99%!!!)
mmm not at all helpful... but still shows some concern as a friend.. no doubt bout that... and it is inevitable that your thinking would be interrupted if you are with people or in a crowd.... best way to deal with this problem is to exile yourself from the world and the best time to do so is at night...
take me for example... i usually take walks at night(like 1am?) or sit in my nice comfy armchair and stair out into the night sky from my balcony or lie on my bed which has a spectacular view of the night sky... it has a somewhat calming effect just like taking a deep breath of fresh air when its raining.... or listening to Celine Dion's Ave Maria... or Hayley Westenra or Josh Groban songs...
someone once taught me if i was really really angry/frustrated/confused about something to write it on paper, rip it up into little tiny pieces, put it into a envelope and drop it into a mailbox... hasnt worked for me =\ ... i find if im gonna put it on paper why waste papers (and be a serial tree killer) if you could just send it to a friend, or the person the situation involves... but this requires a certain amount of bravery and what not...
mmmmmmmmmmmmmm still more thinking...

Lisa Ono- La Vie en Rose (the life in rose)

Quand il me prend dans ses bras
When he takes me in his arms
Qu'll me parle tout bas
What he speaks to me all bottom (O.o?)
Je vois la vie en rose
I see the life in rose
Il me dit des mots d'amour
He says to me words of love
Des mots de tous les jours
Everyday words
Et ça m'fait quelque chose
And things that I do
Il est entré dans mon coeur
It entered into my heart
Une part de bonheur
A part of happiness
Dont je connais la cause
Of which I know the cause
C'est toi pour moi
This is you for me
Moi pour toi dans la vie
Me for you in life
Tu me l'as dit, l'as juré, pour la vie
You said it for me, swore, for life
Et dès que je l'aperçois
And as soon as I got the general idea
Alors je sens en moi
Then I feel in me
Mon coeur qui bat
My beating heart

mmmmmmmmmmmmm lovely lovely lovely.. but because i translated it (with the help of freetranslation.com) some parts may seem a little erm.. weird grammatically... yep yep...
none the less the other 998 bricks were great... =D

life's gooooood =D

now i just realised that my life was kinda repetitive... not in terms of what i do everyday but ive found there are 3 stages in my life..
1stly, when im Tres Fatigue (tf)...
2ndly, when im Pas Tres Fatigue (ptf)...
and lastly, when im Ne Pas Fatigue (npf)...
today im tf... very very tired mmm... running around from yio chu kang to clementi on half a tank of gas (slept late as usual =P) with legs that hurt as though i just ran a marathon yesterday (stoopid training *shakes head*) isnt exactly easy...
BUT! MAIS!
there is always some nice stuff around mmmm...
i heard from this recording of a australian monk Ajahn Bramavamso tell people how ot be happy... this is something like what he said..
"Sometimes people look at a wall made of bricks and only see the 2 bad bricks which makes the wall look bad... whereas others see the other 998 good bricks and a good wall"
mmmm really meaningful... so i was looking around for my 998 good bricks for the day and i found a few.. not 998 though...
First, studio production wasnt all that bad today
second! we finally handed up the stupid proposal
third! nearly ate pepper lunch but instead ate at yoshinoya =( but i got to smell the amazing aroma of the pepper lunch meals and it was literally to die for!
AND!!!!!!! THE BEST THING OF THE DAY!





MmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm....
All 620 grams of gloriously amosy cookies!!!! (No nut chocolate chip of course... im nuts enough)
You havent lived if u have never eaten a amos cookie... cant u just smell it??? *sniffS*
beautiful...
hahaha

Its another beautiful day....

what more could i ask for?
a nice refreshingly cool breeze on a nice cloudy day (not gloomy!)...
ive got my lunch here (fried rice, fried chicken, some fish *no veggies =P*)
got another fun day of studio rehearsal tomorrow...
got another fun thursday the day after tomorrow...

i couldnt ask for more... nope =P ...
*Now Playing: Everclear-Wonderful*
"everythings so wonderful now...."

one night of suffering... a day of unparalled happiness

couldnt sleep at all last night... it was like someone had put something (like a rock) under my bed... kept tossing and turning finally gave up and went to watch brazil win australia...
maybe it was because i was a little grumpy as yesterdays floorball training was a disaster!
but i woke up today feeling way better....
1)it was raining (my favourite weather type when i plan to stay home all day)
2)a couple of people just subscribed to my videos on YouTube... (happy =D im being appreciated)
3)just received a email from one of the swiss club players asking if they could have the full video of their game with nhac-tre.. that means both teams have now asked.. (should i sell it to em? i mean they are working after all ..tapes are not cheap you know! =D heeee)
4)waited a stunningly long time and it came.. (legin should understand this one *plop piangX3*)
Stupid mindef giving me such a hard time... ive already asked for deferment once but they somehow lost my application and i had to send another to a different address.. its like *shakes head in disappointment* out ministry of defense can lose such a Important* (to me anyways) document!!
Moi c'est tres fatigue... not tired in the sleeping sense but my muscles are going funky on me... all of em are going funky on me (but its a good sign! it means i trained hard enough yesterday)
mmmmmmmmmmmm
i feel like eating pepper lunch!!!! i think im addicted.. but its no fun to eat alone yep yep... trying to get tw, jam et mj maybe go watch a movie or something (Pirates of the Caribbean anyone? BenchyWarmers anyone?) this seems to be the movie season of the year... good stuff coming out yep yep yep...

j'aime the nice fresh air now... *deep breaths* no smell of pollution from car exhausts and what not... its like Mr.In-Charge's way of purifying the air for us...

not sure what im gonna do later... feel bored.. but i dont feel like doing much... ironic i know... oh well ...

*Now playing:Lifehouse-You and Me*
"you and me and all other people..."

beautiful love - the afters

The Afters Music Video Codes

Now Playing: The Afters - Beautiful Love
Brought you by: Myspace Friends Adder

howie day - collide

Howie Day Music Video Codes

Now Playing: Howie Day - Collide
Brought you by: Myspace Friends Adder

mmmmmmmmm ...... songs explain our deepest emotions... mmmmmmmm...

The dawn is breaking
A light shining through
You're barely waking
And I'm tangled up in you
Yeah

I'm open, you're closed
Where I follow, you'll go
I worry I won't see your face
Light up again

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills my mind
I somehow find
You and I collide

I'm quiet you know
You make a first impression
I've found I'm scared to know I'm always on your mind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the stars refuse to shine
Out of the back you fall in time
I somehow find
You and I collide

Dont stop here
I lost my place
Im close behind

Even the best fall down sometimes
Even the wrong words seem to rhyme
Out of the doubt that fills your mind

You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide
You finally find
You and I collide

endless space

im feeling so pissed right now.
just came home from Library@orchard suppose to meet my classmates there
to do our studio proposal.
11am came and went and i finally gave up waiting at 1145....
its amazing how fast i went from Xtreme happiness to frustration and anger in the space of 12 hours...
maybe its just because im tired.. so many things to do...
-bring a cd copy of nighthawks logo to jersey shop (@queensway shopping centre! super far)
-do studio proposal and hand up latest tuesday 20th
-register NS and ask for deferment by 21st
-studio production rehearsal 22nd
-go for team manager's meeting for floorball league 23rd
-collect money from teammates so my kindness for paying for them first wont be taken advantage of

the list keeps growing... i'd be happy just to make it it the end of the year..... my bwwwain cant take so many things... ive got those things to do and another full list of stuff that make me stressed just thinking about them...
-floorball (makes my head pop everytime this is why i stepped down as captain.. but it seems my teammates dont know how to step up to the plate and show some leadership)
-"something else"... (makes me crazy everytime i try to find a logical explanation for it)

BUT! for so many sad things, there are always happy things like,
Tw and me forming our own "play-4-fun" band
funny people i meet...
funny things i see (cats CAN! talk)
life isnt soo bad after all..
wrote a funky poem to jam* for a testi... just popped into my head then and there... inspiration is so hard to find these days..

I keep trying to forget something... but it never leaves my thoughts for long... its like this irritating bowling ball rolling about in my head... never fails to ruin my day..

I keep trying to remember happy things... but they seem questionable.... confusing! stressful!
hmmmmmm... listening to songs certainly do help.... especially "happy english songs"

weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee =D

Hehe my class and i up to no good during studio rehearsal

Hehe.. i was doing vision mixing which was the cutting between camera shots and the adding of titles and what not.. hahah WOOO

(pls excuse all the vulgarities... =P )

Hehehe....

like Anger Management!!!
All for some popcorn??? (buttered popcorn =P)
Weeeee!

Poor people must have died... =P

anyone seen castaway?

The Funny man has found his key!

Just when you thought cats couldnt talk...

"Hello!
Hello!
Hello!

Mama?
mmmm
Ma..... MAMA?

Meow I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO
MEOWWWW I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO

Ohhhh my dog....
Ohhhh long john....
Ohhh long johnson.....
Ohhh Don piaaanooo
Why I eye ya? (O.O?!)
All the live long day"

hehehe... i found my key when i found these videos

More song madness with Rm &Hm

Glory Of Love - North

Tonight it's very clear
As we're both lying here
There's so many things i want to say
I will always love you
I would never leave you alone

Sometimes i just forget
Say things i might regret
It breaks my heart to see you crying
I don't wanna lose you
I could never make it alone

I am a man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you'll be dreaming of
We'll live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love

You keep me standing tall
You help me through it all
I'm always strong when you're beside me
I have always needed you
I could never make it alone

I am a man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you'll be dreaming of
We'll live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love

Just like a knight in shining armor
From a long time ago
Just in time i will save the day
Take you to my castle far away

I am a man who will fight for your honor
I'll be the hero you'll be dreaming of
We're gonna live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love

We'll live forever
Knowing together that we
Did it all for the glory of love
We did it all for love

-"Empty tin cans make the most noise... " RM
-"He's no tin can you dumbo... tu est tres stupide... " HM
-"Fine he's a tin man then... and just like the one in the Wizard of Oz a tin man without a heart?" Ahh this is wasting my time.. can i go now? *taps foot impatiently*" RM
-"You always find someway to spoil a good thing dont cha?" HM
-"Dont cha wish HM was more like me? Dont cha! Dont cha!" RM
-"*Rolls eyes impatiently*" HM
The Tin Man Gets A Heart In The End...

thoughts and feelings in music

She's So High by Tal Bachman

She's blood, flesh and bone
No tucks or silicone
She's touch, smell, sight, taste and sound
But somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen

'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me

First class and fancy free
She's high society
She's got the best of everything
What could a guy like me ever really offer?
She's perfect as she can be, why should I even bother?

'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
She's so high, high above me

She calls to speak to me
I freeze immediately
'Cause what she says sounds so unreal
'Cause somehow I can't believe
That anything should happen
I know where I belong
And nothing's gonna happen

'Cause she's so high
High above me, she's so lovely
She's so high, like Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, or Aphrodite
Oh yeaaah
She's so high, high above me....

(The 3 act structure...
1. Introduction to subject
And why he's so in love
2.Middle
Puts himself down and has little or no self-respect for himself
Sees himself as nothing compared to her doesnt think he is good enough and lets go of hope.
3.Ending
Against all odds he wins her heart and they er... live happily ever after? haha

-"This is fairytale stuff... not in this world... not in this life.. no way.." RM
-"Happens all the time... soon... soon dont let go of the rope... " HM)}

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beautiful Soul - Jesse Mccartney

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

I know that you are something special
To you I'd be always faithful
I want to be what you always needed
Then I hope you'll see the heart in me

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
Your beautiful soul, yeah

You might need time to think it over
But im just fine moving forward
I'll ease your mind
If you give me the chance
I will never make you cry c`mon lets try

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

Am I crazy for wanting you
Baby do you think you could want me too
I don't wanna waste your time
Do you see things the way I do
I just wanna know if you feel it too
There is nothing left to hide

I don't want another pretty face
I don't want just anyone to hold
I don't want my love to go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul
You're the one I wanna chase
You're the one I wanna hold
I wont let another minute go to waste
I want you and your beautiful soul

(Sorta like the first one but this fella kinda seems more determined "I wont let another minute go to waste???"...
notice both speak of not only physical attration but of the personality "beautiful soul"
We just see how much this guy wants to be loved by the "girl of his dreams"...
-"*Speechless*" RM
-"Determination! And never giving up! you got this in the bag kiddo!.. i mean my son..." HM
-"I quote "Am I crazy for wanting you?" Yes you are definitely nuts... i feel embarrased for you" RM

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Come What May - Ewan Mcgregor & Nicole Kidman

Never knew I could feel like this
Like I've never seen the sky before
I want to vanish inside your kiss
Every day I love more and more
Listen to my heart
Can you hear? It sings
Telling me to give you everything
Seasons may change
Winter to spring
But I'll love you
Until he end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Suddenly the world seems
Such a perfect place
Suddenly it moves with
Such a perfect grace
Suddenly my life
Doesn't seem such a waste
It all revolves around you
And there's no mountain too high
No river too wide
Sing out this song and
I'll be there by your side
Storm clouds may gather
And stars may collide
But I'll love you until
The end of time

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

Oh, come what may
Come what may
I will love you
I will love you
Suddenly the world seems
Such a perfect place

Come what may
Come what may
I will love you until my dying day

(*On the verge of tears*
Touching touching it speaks for itself.....
-"Touching?!?! Are you crazy? It's just some song about some crazy lover-boy and his prostitute!!! Touching?!?" RM
-"Tais-toi RM! Don't listen to him he just hasn't felt the gift of love yet... "Love can move mountains!" [Celine Dion] =D" HM
-"Dont tell me to shut up HM... I've felt more love then you ever will... and because ive felt more love means ive felt depressed alot more times than you thank you very much.. so you Tais-toi!"
RM
-"You are just a sad little man... You know i feel sorry for you... =( " HM
-"You do??? = " RM
-"Nah I'm just kidding ... muhahahhaha... me feel sorry for you? you can't be serious hahahahah... *Rolls on the floor laughing*" HM
-"Why you little piece of merdE! I'll show you!" RM
A fight breaks out .... and i experience whats known as a headache....

an empty bottle

Once filled to the brim.
Now emptied of all substance.
Emptied of all purpose.
Thrown into darkness for eternity.
Bound to its immortality.
Patiently waiting for when it would meet its maker.
Waiting for a day when it will see light again.
Waiting for a day when it will not just be... an empty bottle.

A humans mind

I have a humans mind that never sleeps.
I have a humans mind that thirsts for knowledge.
I have a humans mind that thirsts for answers.
I have a humans mind that thirsts for so many things, it is inhumanly cruel to me.
I spend hours staring out into the blank star less sky.
Hoping for salvation from this mind.
Hoping to have it fed, and shut.
No pain
No sadness
No ....... mind........
I have a humans mind.
Don't you?

Silent Night

Every second of every minute, of every hour, of every day, of every week, of every month, of every year, of every decade, of every century, I wait in silence.
I wait for a sign, a hint, a whisper, a word, a phrase, a sentence, a expression that would explain this to me. I wait in silence.
I live in the darkness and loneliness of confusion without a explaination, without a clue, without you, I wait in silence.

City of Angels et mes anges

Seems that time goes by so fast everytime you are havin' fun. Too fast. So fast that in the space of 2 weeks, your life can be flipped upside down before u even notice anything.
Im happier than ive ever been ever!
I love the course ive chosen (film, sound & video)
I love my choice to learn french
I love thursdays (nothing beats thursdays... studio pro and storytelling classes the most fun! and top it off with desert(brownies with icescream) with french lessons at night)
And I love mes anges(pretty complicated thing)

I finally managed to find City of Angels (a movie) that ive been wanting to watch for about 1 and half years now. so happy i got it! though it was kinda expensive ($35!!!) also watched Over The Hedge with Tw and Jamy* (MJ couldnt come... =( ) "But i'd like a cookie!" still my favorite line in the movie.
Anyways back to city of angels... one of the most inspiring films ive ever ever ever ever watched serious! and somehow, i noticed my life seems pretty well organised by a certain special someone high up in the clouds (im a free-thinker btw) somehow after watching City of Angels, something in my head clicked like a jigsaw puzzle and its last piece being put in place and there in discovering one of mes anges ... kinda dumb of me not to realise anything for the past 6 months to be honest but hey... im only human like everyone else (or am i? =P )
im not gonna say anything about what was the picture on the jigsaw puzzle.. but i am gonna say that it comes at a time when i least expected... with my new year's day resolution and everything (It completely doesnt FIT!! im gonna go back on my plans for this year! like MERDE!)
boy oh boy... this last 2 weeks has been stressful (but its somehow fun.. at least i had half a day of break with Tw and the Smiley lady) realised someone was talking behind my back from my class and sorted it out (friends friends), smoked through 10 assignments/projects/proposals/tests or so, realised the click from City of Angels and discovering m'ange and watched Xmen, Over The Hedge and The benchwarmers. so its been a pretty interesting 2 weeks... in fact i'd be happy if the rest of my year carrys on like this.. with mes anges mes anges mes anges's presence close by (there are 2 of em btw im not saying anything =X)
Yeppa yeppa.. and somehow everywhere i go, i hear Nine Day's Absolutely... (this is the story of a girl and yada yada yada) coincidence!? I THINK NOT!
im in the middle of something sinister here and ive no idea whats happening.. i keep trying to go back to the start and try to analyse to see how i managed to get myself into such a knot (hmm i think i've got a dual personality not like miss smiley's 3 which makes her such a attention to details everywhere but right in front of her person... thats why u keep falling and banging into stuff haha =P, but still a dual personality is bad enough i wont even imagine having three)
so about the 2 of em and how they got me in my little knot of confusion. the first one who i affectionately call the "realistic maosi" (RM) and the 2nd, the "hopeful maosi"(HM). i might soon develop a middle man and go as nuts and stressed out as smiley lady soon if cm and om dont come to a agreement soon.
rm constantly reminds me that stuff like the huge jigsaw puzzle in my head arent real and most things happen due to mere coincidence... and when i try to analyse to entire situation, he constantly reminds me that im just a dumb piece of maosi to even dream something like that is happening to me. his favourite lines are "Dream on dumbass!" or "Be serious please! you are wasting your time!"
hm is the one who gives me hope.. and somehow i like to think hm is right most of the time... he sounds like some pastor in a church or something and his favourite lines are "Have faith my son.. and you will achieve your goal/you will find out soon enough" and "Things dont happen by chance! things always happen for a reason!"
so thats what they've been telling me everytime i try to think of a possibility that the discovery of m'ange is more than just coincidence... more that just a fly-by... more than what i think it actually is and maybe just maybe.. the turning point in my life... for good...

( you dont know... you dont know... you dont know... should i ???)