a beautiful day...

yes today is a spectacularly beautiful day... as i'm typing this i can see the orange setting sun hiding behind the misty blue-white clouds in the distance (*takes a deep breath of fresh air, and exhaless*) doesn't that just feel great? yes it does.. yes it does...

played well during the friendly game just now =D.. so happy.. the league is 6 weeks away..
i'm finally in division 1... with a team i like playing in.. with people i love playing with... we shall follow the words "Live2Win".. yesh yesh yesh... but still why am i SOOOOOOOOOOO happy? (even though i didn't manage to score today...(awwwwww...) haha... )

did something special happen today?
(yes yes yes *nods head in a childlike manner(but not childish!)*)
was it something he's been waiting for for a long time?
(YeshYeshYesh =P)
does it have anything to do with anybody?
(YESSHHHHHH!)
what isit?!
(Ice Cream... )
-anti-climax...o.o"-

ahaha... but it's trueeee.. god is the person who was so hmm.. nice! to put lovely ice cream into this world...
(finally the monster has his fill of ice cream)
every where i turn i couldn't get the ice cream outta my head.. so i decided today's a good day.... let's make it better with the ice cream =D !!! *dances around*

tomorrow is the start of a week i should be dreading (keyword "should")
but i've got it all planned out... i know what to do ... i'm satisfied... i'm happy(yes i've been unhappy for a long time...) but i'm happy now and that's what matters...

Week Plan
Monday:
1) Hold the secret meeting *looks around suspiciously*
2) Stay back in library until late to study.. (writcomm and audio)
3) Go for coaching course at night....

Tuesday:
1) Ask mr.wong if i can take his grammar test another time.. cause i can't this saturday...
2) Meeting with nvp2 loc pro team (HUR HUR HUR take THAT! *POW* BS!)
3) Stay back in library again until late to study somemore ( i love the smell of books O.o!? Okayyyy.. i'm just kidding here.. dunno why i'm in a very IWS mood.. "I Wanna Study!"
("stupid nerd... *shakes head in disapproval*")
4) Go for NP floorball training
5) *cheeky looks* maybe eat ice cream at gelare? =P
("k no more stupid nerd! ice creammm!!!! ahhhhh!!! *bounces around*")

Wednesday:
1) Sleep in CATS (hhahahahaha)
2) Go over to CMPB to get my deferment thing settled (aiyohhh.. who cares.. take cab..)
3) Come back to school for mugging in the library... like a good boy... *angel! la la la* haha
4) Go for coaching course...

Thursday:
1) Maybe get Loc Pro audio post-prod recording done to improve our nvp1 video?
2) Not go for french =( ... go for NP floorball IVP tryouts... (maybe if mj is going i can get smiley lady's class recording and study.. dunno...
3) Maybe leave early from tryouts to go for french after their food break ends.. (yes only a hour of class.. but it's better than not going right?!)
4) Ice cream anyone? hur hur hur..

Friday: Weekend is hereee!!!
1) Dunooooooooo wat to doooooooo yet!

yesh that is my week plan.. looks like so much.. but i'm not stressed out... in fact "I'm Loving It!"
("O.O freaking psycho..." *shakes head in disapproval again!*")
yes someone call the buangkok green people... there's a mad XDD(xiao di di) loose and on the run...
*runs around in a circle*

kk time to eat my snacks.. =P (yes before dinner.. muahahhahahah.. poor mama.. she's gonna kill me heeeeeeeeeee)

sometime soon, maybe later...

it's been a hectic week...
was mugging with the 2 lkks (hahaha) just now at bishan library... (the internet is suckyyy)
yah... so far done with 1 and a half chapters...
and i'm really tired after sleeping at 4am last night o.o
yah... crazy i know... haha... (it's all the djj's fault you know? haha...)
and i don't owe u any ice cream!!! ahhh! no!!! haha...

at chiamo's place right now.... staying over... but i feel like going home to sleeppp hurrr...
djj just went home... jerry's showering and chiam's sleeping... i wanna sleep!!! dun think i can mug tonight... really too tired...

friendly game tmr... it's gona be another weekend gone too fast... *sigh*

there's too many things happening right now.. it's a wee bit too much...
so many tests in so many 'contexts'..
just so many things... like the french tests... tests in school.. tests in life? dunno
i dun feel like going for the french test.. i'm gonna fail because i've nt been studying.. my french has been deproving.. yes i'm gonna fail... and i'm scared to miss lectures for the french test.. since i'm gonna flunk it anyway.. i might as well not take it? dunno... the money isn't that big a issue...

dunno.... dunno... k i think i'm gonna "nap for 15 minutes" ...

umbrella with holes...

the shelter is breaking down,
and i can't help but frown.
it's no longer what it was,
there's no prize behind these doors.
this throat constricts,
as i try to resist.
but the disappointment is to great,
i can't hold back the tears for this fate.
i was late since the beginning,
i'm late now at the ending.
my sun stolen,
this heart broken.
let the world flood in this sea of mysery,
let the clouds fall,
let the windows be locked,
let these wings be clipped,
let the recurring dreams stop,
kill the heart,
you've played your part.
now let me walk back home,
from where i flew so high.
let me return to the tomb,
where this grey world will be left to die.

please... won't the rain go away?

*Now Playing Breaking Benjamin - Rain*

Take a photograph,
It'll be the last,
Not a dollar or a crowd could ever keep me here,

I don't have a past
I just have a chance,
Not a family or honest plea remains to say,

Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.

Is it you I want,
Or just the notion
Of a heart to wrap around so I can find my way around

Safe to say from here,
Your getting closer now,
We are never sad cause we are not allowed to be

Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.

Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.

To lie here under you,
Is all that I could ever do,
To lie here under you is all,
To lie here under you is all that i could ever do,
To lie here under you is all,

Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun.

Rain rain go away,
Come again another day,
All the world is waiting for the sun,
All the world is waiting for the sun,
All the world is waiting for the sun.

----------------

i decided to be a rebel for a day... skipped cats class ... i didn't wanna walk to the class and tahan the pain of the then throbbing toe... qammie and lian skipped cats too.. so we went over to (dun laugh) 'kbox' haha...
but it was really fun... fun to just let go and sing... and i forgot bout the toe... and all the stuff that isn't going right... all work and no play will make anyone dry out... yes... so i had my fun for the week... still got loads to do... gonna be a super nerd and study all of saturday to prepare for next week's tests... and start planning my writcomm assignment.. (i will make myself proud...)

forgetting the past...

i should be editing my social psychology documentary now... but i'm feeling lazy... and just listening to the song.. give me a sec to put my feet up after a long long day... tomorrow will be no different... but at least there's icecream tomorrow after french... (still on right tw? but if u wanna study for ur stats test i'm really ok with it..)

sitting in his little corner in the library,
he realises he's all alone lost in the midst of shelves after shelves of books.
across the space he looks out the window,
laughter, happiness and warmth he sees.
the rain is coming down on him,
he who's but a lost soul seperated from the warmth by a window.
and there he stays, day after day,
waiting for the sun.....

mother nature attacks!!!

it seems that mother nature has finally decided human beings can't take care of the entire world... she understands that we are yes probably the most intelligent of all living creatures however! we are also the most corrupt... easily influenced by negative internal and external locus of control... for example doing something for personal gain...

after months of planning, she finally begins her campaign today...
a assasin was sent to a randomly picked home (don't ask me why she didn't choose someone like Bush... -maybe it's cause we really are the most intelligent species on earth...-)
yes that home was mine...
the assasin? A Bee.. no wait.. that's an understatement...
a freaking CARPENTER BEE!
yes... it stung me on my toe... and now as i sit out in the grand stands unable to participate in sports and wellness (which means i've to do a make-up lesson which sucks cause i've seriously no time...) my toe is throbbing (yes another understatement... because it hurts so bad!!! -yes call me a baby... but wait! u haven't been stung by a carpenter bee yet... on your foot, on the big toe!!! how am i suppose to walk?! (limp.. 'oh... okay')

and the assasin.. though it didn't kill me, it definitely did a good job...
1. i didn't see it coming at all.. i mean WHO THE HECK WILL EXPECT A BEE TO FLY UP AND GET YOU JUST AS YOU WERE ABOUT TO WEAR YOUR SHOES AND GO TO SCHOOL!??
2. it managed to sting right through my soccer socks... which for your information is very thick...
3. it managed to make me yell out *quite* bad words in one long string... (hurr...)
4. made me tear... yes it hurts! like how can anything so small create such pain?!

not convinced it hurts? check this out...
http://www.everythingabout.net/articles/biology/animals/
arthropods/insects/bees/carpenter

maybe you don't understand... but those carpenter bees can grow to around 2.5-3cm long...
wanna know how big that is?

hmmm then again.. i could have been hit by a wasp..
i mean it all happened so quickly.. and everything... hmmmm... it could have flown away..
cause wasps can sting a few times and live to tell the tale.. not like suicide bombers (the bees)
http://www.everythingabout.net/articles/biology/animals/
arthropods/insects/wasps/more

yes that's really fierce...
the foot hurts =(
at least qamariah is bringing me my breakfast :P
haha... yes i'm a handicapped, spoilt kid complaining on his laptop...

that's it i really need ice cream.....
it'll turn owwie owwie owwie to yummy yummy yummy....

i'm screaming for icecreammm....

yes...i've decided i wanna make myself happy by endulging myself with icecream...
i will drown myself in the icecreamm... on thursday after french.. hopefully .. unless tw really needs to study for his stats test on friday...
i should be sleeping... but i don't feel like taking the intiative...
cause it'll mean i'll rush through the next 6/7 hours of life...
and i'm really "life-conscious" now...
(i've been thinking of the D word.. *shhhhhhhhh*)
sounds crazy.. but i'm freaking myself out... so i need the damn icecreammm fast!!
(k for all those that don't know what the D word is it's dying...)
BUT DONT FREAK OUT I'M NOT SUICIDAL!
k... just had to put that in bold cause people love running around screaming stuff like
"MELVIN'S THINKING ABOUT JUMPING OFF A CLIFF! WHATEVER SHALL WE DOOOooooOOooooo"
yes... so if u've already done the running around and screaming i'm sorry u wasted ur energy for nothing... and don't go signing me up for 'em weird anti-depression club things... i'm NOT suicidal.. i've simply been feeling that life is too short for my liking...
(cause i nearly got runover by a van the other day... but i'm still in one piece *i think*)
yes.. so i'm really really all about the rushing cause life is short...
that's why i'm doing stuff that young ppl dont usually do.. like take courses at 17 when everyone else is like 25 or something... preparing for retirement at the age of 17 (dont laugh.. i wanna see the world... and die from a overload of high quality chocolate... )
if u wanna go why not go in stylee?

maybe it's just me, couldn't you believe? all that was said and done wasn't just deceiving...

SHOW ME THE ICECREAM!!!! *bangs table like tom cruise(only i've got longer hair and i wear glasses and i dont have perfect teeth.. BUT! i'm taller than him -heeeeeeee-)
but being tall isn't everything... (k all of u probably think i'm trying to redeem myself just in case tom cruise decides to sue me for "defaming" him...... -and u are correct!-)
-though it'd be cool.. i'll get autographs and sell 'em to the diehard fans and recover my debts...-
now back to why being tall isn't good.. because buses weren't made for tall people...
I've hit my head while exiting the bus so many times! STUPID I KNOW!
(but that's the reason! everytime i hit my head i get stupider... it's a killer cycle... )
won't someone design a "tall people" friendly bus! LIKE COME ON!!!

i is needing to brainwash myself with icecreammmmmmmmm

i miss the good old times where there was always something happening every night... and spending 'em late nights with friends... walking around like random souls.. and eating late night prata... and (ICE CREAM!).. and being pulled over by the police and sharing our chips with them while they made sure we weren't crack addicts... or wanted for stealing a $2 pack of chips.. that they happened to be sharing and were now as guilty as we were...
muaha! last touch!!! *runs around*
now be a good law-abiding citizen, handcuff urself and turn urself in...
that's a good lad *jail cell doors slam shut...*
*Mission Impossible 5! The Breakout!*
*M.I. soundtrack plays.. "dada dada dada dada"
TomCruise-" Don't worry my innocent law-abiding friend... i shall set you free and we can both find the ever evil maosiiii "
*gasps from audience*
ILAF (basically means innocent law-abiding friend)- "I'm Free I'm Free I'm Free!"
TC-" ok let's go.. my sources tell me maosi *gasps* was last seen in Gelare on Sixth Ave eating icecream... quick let's go before.. *Clang!* what the?! why did u lock urself back in?!!!"
ILAF-"i .. i... i don't feel like going out.... it's such a big world out there....and and.."
TC-" this is no time to start realising the world is huge and u are a small little dot that can't even be seen..
ILAF-" yah thx *rolls eyes* that really helps..."
TC-*slaps ILAF* "WAKE *slap* UP *slap*"
ILAF-*O.O*
*ling ding ling ding ling ding*
ILAF-" ICEEEeeeCreaAAmMM!!"
TC-"Wat the?!"
ILAF-*runs out of cell following the sound of the icecream bell...*
maosi-"Huan Ying Lai Dao Shen Ling!"
ILAF and TC together-"Huh?!"
maosi-"Welcome To The Jungle! it's the name of my icecream truck u dimbos.."
ILAF and TC together- "OHhhhh!"
TC-" quick lets catch him! k on three u go by his left i'll go right... and .. oi!"
*ILAF hands maosi 50cents for a popsicle*
TC-*O.O"*

will maosi's evil scheme of selling addictive icecream to the masses and using it as a tool to rule the world succeed? Tune in next time on another episode of "Maosi Love IceCream"
also! if u like this how, u'll love "Maosi Love Wasting Peoples Time by Talking About How Much He Loves Ice Cream!"

yes... i love my random icecream loving self...
(which is why i can't be suicidal... cause i think i'm smart enough to know there isn't icecream in heaven...) ladies and gents key word here is "think"

k goodnight world it's exactly midnight...

l'imparfait

Secondhand Serenade - Your Call
Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
call I'm desperate for your voice
I'm listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and pollished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Because every breath that you will take
while you are sitting next to me
will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone,
and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
x4
( I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

I was born to tell you I love you
and I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
( I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

------------------------

got the song from tw... but the file i downloaded is corrupted... and tw isn't online now
so gotta listen to the song of his blog for the mo'
(http://upperechelon.diaryland.com/ if any of you are interested...)

mmm... had a chat with ah lian yesterday trying to pass the time before coaching course...
and i think i learnt that little bit more about myself... about how i 'freeze' when it matters most...
which sucks.. especially if there's no going back...

and had a talk with chiam and lian in the library... both of whom have got weird family situations... but to a extent are happy with what has happened... and are on good terms with both their parents... but i don't think i can do something like that... because 'he' represents all that i don't wanna become... and so much more...

it's getting tough.. maybe a little desperate trying to salvage something... but i start thinking about it and maybe it really isn't good to try to salvage anything... i know what happens if it goes the wrong way... it's happened to me before... i nearly screwed up my own life that year... nearly retained in sec2... =\ ... oui c'est vrai...

i keep overwriting myself... and suddenly i think next year isn't gonna be a good year..

waiting for your call
i'm sick.
the songs and pictures of yesterday,
they're playing on repeat.
i'd like to believe i was born to tell you i love you...

k i've got another whole weekend to be busy... why are there only 7 days in a weeek...
why can't there be 5 working days and 3 days for the weekend...

hiding underneath the sheets...

stupid world....

there're actually loads of stupidly irritating people in this world... serious...
like the who stared at me like a hawk on the mrt because she saw 2 gaps behind me...
and thought i was being selfish and not moving behind... i stared back... and i've the right to...
there were 2 kids squatting down behind me... and if she wants to trample over them to give herself a wee bit more space she can do it.... o'course she realised in the end there were 2 kids.. after a shiteload of staring... mm.. really made me not like stupid people in this stupid world.. (this happened on monday...)

then there are the people in this world who really don't deserve to be in this world...
(but maybe that's why they're here... they're not good enough to go anywhere else either...)
dunno..
then i just read about the "Spederline" breakup thing... and i get even more irritated at the stupid people in this stupid world... coz their children are gonna have to go through alot..
and those 2 dumb people don't understand.. growing up in their rich happy families..
they won't understand what'll happen when there's all the custody fighting..
("and you understand?" some of u ask?)
yes... i've seen it first hand...
to make my point... how many of you reading this... are living in nice 'full' families?
if you still wanna fight to make ur point then i think u don't understand...
(but of course there're the 'full' families... with not so nice parents...
could be one.. or both of em...)
k nvm... i'm agitating myself...
(wana know? cause i couldn't go to training today because of ...... to me, the absolute most stupid person on earth... )
he's causing problems again.. and i don't like when he affects my life... i really hope he just dies...
of all the people that die everyday.. why can't he be one of them??
why doesn't god do something to all the evil people in this world?
why u wanna make the innocent people suffer for evil they didn't cause?
why god? why???
i'm really happy for my sister because she was one of 6 lucky people who got selected to do special vet summer project in aussie... mmm..
she just sent a email concerning the very same issue i'm whining about now...
think i've seen my sis develop alot as a person ever since evil stepped out on earth.... mmm
we learn so much more from mistakes other people make and we have to pay for it...
doesn't that just suck?
i've already got my mind made up..i know what kind of person i wanna be... (it's weird for a 17 year old.. but then again.. not many people in the world come from broken families...)
maybe it's luck on my side... being born into this world with a fucked up father...
(excuse my french...)
and a mom who i don't blame for not being able to act fast enough to prevent all of this...
but it's ok... i guess... i'll believe i'm lucky enough to have something like this to learn from...

"Life is how you choose to live it, but unfortunately, we don't all have complete freedom. We're subject to rules and regulations put in place by a greater body, but that's there to ensure that some sort of equality is achieved, and one person is not taking too much advantage of another, because life, in the great scheme of things, is also about balance. We also have obligations to this greater body, it provides us order and we must hold up our end and help. We have to live with and accept the ripples created by the individual paths we had chosen earlier. It's one great big mathematical algorithm or flowchart, one big food web. Moral of the story: Honour your obligations to the choices you have made, the people around you and the greater body, it is meant to be that EASY."

that's a line i really like in the email my sis wrote...
makes life seem so simple right?

k ... coming back to my own world full of nice caring people...
i'm impressed with myself because the director in the production group likes my camera work..
(yesss!!) i didn't get bitten by all em' ants for nothing... (long story..haha..)
it's nice to have ur work appreciated mmmm... and it's good to be proud of ur work..
so i'll probably upload it onto youtube when i get a copy.. and show u guys =D ....
sharing with the world

i had a nightmare last night ... a bad one... a bad long one.....
so there are happy films and horror films that play in my head....
both concerning the same subject somemore...
but the bad dream was really bad =( ....
triggered by something that was said yesterday... and no thanks to my over-thinking...
*hopes he will have a happy film tonight...*
i mean i expect a good payoff man! especially if i'm thinking for a hour before going to sleep...
*no bad dreams, no bad dreams, no bad dreams, no bad dreamsss!!!!*
but it wasn't all bad mm.. the last part was a lil happy =) ...
(happy enough to make me wish for the morning to never come.. mmm )

really, no one like you...

never had...

still thinking the same thought, but this feeling's like no other...

somehow the day didn't seem as tiring as it actually was...
maybe it's cause i think i was really smart for a day (yes i'm actually really dumb...)
-ladys and gents, a example of low self-efficacy-
but who cares... soc psych was today was fun for so many reasons that i can't say 'em...
because saying one would be doing a injustice to the other activites... and listing a few would make people think that that was all that happened...
(i learnt that in Soc Psych.. see smart for a day indeed..)

and stayed in school until 11.30pm for filming....
we needed the entire scene to be at night... so we had to wait for the sun to go wake up all the americans and for the majority of the student pop to go home...
but it was so much fun i don't think i'll complain about staying late..
i won't complain about the fact that we only got 25minutes of footage though we were there for 4 hours...
i won't complain that my back is aching slightly because i was the camera operator in our 4 man(and lady of course) team...
i won't complain that i got eaten alive by merciless ants and couldn't do anything because the camera was rolling... (thank god for short takes!)
i won't complain about anything... ouiii... cause it was all bloody worth it...
ouiii.. i've now really got to know better my 3 group mates... and they're all really nice people... who share the load and overdo themselves sometimes... and and don't jump at your necks when sharing ideas... and take the falls gracefully.. and laugh around at each other non-stop... making the work location a more relaxed place, a more fun place and still having that slight edge of being serious and getting stuff done on time... can i please be grouped with them foreverrrr????

k i'm really tired... (but i'm not complaining...)
at least it's finally saturday now... probably gonna research a little on written comm later (after i take my 12 hour herding shift in lalaland simply to indulge myself ouiii..
(wat can i say? Mainly I Love Sheep.. haha.. -whodunkillnazisthatarebetterofdead..hahaha..-)

yes it's nice to look out the window...
but it's nicer to shut my eyes...
and fly out the window...

hey.. u forgot something...

wats worst then a long day? 5 long days....
wats worst then 5 long days? 2 weeks of long school days back to back...
i've gotta do shooting for my group's video production tmr... at night... prolly get home latee..
i mean everything that can go wrong will go wrong... that's something that comes with the job..
but at least i'm paired with 3 other amazingly dedicated and hardworking ppl..
i sometimes feel i'm dragging them down...

there's really nothing left to say
i don't understand anything anymoree....
i'm becoming forgetful again... which sucks...
but i'm forgetting the wrong things... all the wrong things...
things i don't wanna forget vaporises... overwritten
sigh... and when i said the last word will come from you.. i meant it...

what happened to the snow? y's it all blue?

decisions i make are ripping my insides up...
and there's really nth i can do... who can fight something like this?

21 names but now there are only 20...
somehow... the one that just left... was the one i've been avoiding..
was the one that basically mattered the most..
was the one that i would have been the reason, a excuse, and so much more...
was the one that somehow i can only connect with when the lights go out at night...
and probably... no.. definitely .. is still all of the above...

will you not understand?

determined to be lost out in space...

i can't help it i've got the urge to let the world know...

I'm NOT PURE CHINESE!!!
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
.....
...
..
*goes on and on and on...*

according to my mama who told me according to her mama that according to her mama's mama,
i've got a tinge of russian and manchurian blood in me...
(i sound like that pepsi drink "with a tinge of lemon..")
and maybe.. just maybe a tinge of gypsy blood too.. so coooool!
I'm gonna learn russian after finishing french and german... mmhmm.. must must must..
*does the russian dance with the arms folded, squating down and kicking*... (anyone seen Balto? and the russian dancing duck? no? oh well.. u'll see it someday i guess...)
but who cares!!! russian! weeeeeeeeeeeeeee....
ppl who know me for a long time will know what this means to me.. because i've never felt truly chinese (*gasps*) yes.. it's true...
i despise the chinese!! (nah just kidding..)
who cares?!! russiann!!!weeeeee...

and my sister and I are contemplating changing sirnames oui oui oui....
u guys didn't think i'd keep my current one right? i mean after all i've gone through? 18 years of being a Chan is enough... i refuse to be related... determined no to be related...
(i sound like.. u guessed it Voldemort eeeeeeviiiilllllll)
my sis has one...
Halley....
"Fine evening Mr.Halley!"
ooooo =D ca va!
*does the russian dance again...*
(btw.. Halley was actually a comet that flew pass earth the year my sister was born.. it does so every 76 years -ithink- so cool... oui oui.. like "FreeedoooOOOM!" -kjustbeingrandomhere-)
who cares?!! RUSSIAN!!! (k i promise i'll stop it...)

we can't change who we were born to be...

i agree... i was born not to be a Chan... weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.....
Melvin Halley..... (it's got a ring to it... haha... )
WHO CARES??!!! RUSSIAN!!!!

*shuts up*

it's my fault.. i know it's me... so blame me not urself..
and hate me not urself...
and forget me not your world...
and find someone there and not someone lost out in space...

mmm

these pictures in my head aren't normal.. they're so real it's difficult to differentiate what's a dream and what isn't.... sounds stupid... sounds different... but i think most of the great minds out there had to start stupid(so as to allow creativity!), stay different(unique!) and create something spectacular... something that defies the logic of imagination (some of u are asking.. logic in imagination? yes... there's logic in most of what we imagine... that makes what we imagine though a little too much for us to handle, but still manageably possible-somehow-....)
no more boundaries... (ok fine there's still gotta be a limit or else we'd go bonkers with the immense number of thoughts...)

i've been coming up with ideas for short films lately...
now i know what my psychology teacher was saying about how our ideas are greatly influenced by our personal stuff at that time.. (feelings, thoughts, u know.. like if ur hungry or not.. if ur tired or not.. if ur emo or not.. basically oui...)
i'm really in love with my first idea..... i was stunned i came up with something so complex in 5 minutes oui... simple but somehow complex(stupid right?)... dunno.. but i feel very enthu whenever i think about it... i'm definitely gonna try and get it filmed.. with all the visual aspects i want and send it for a film competition.. or film fest... it's gonna be hard though... i mean the location is the worst thing...
anyone know where in singapore there's a bus stop, and a phonebooth not far away? like within sight from the bus stop?? no right? and it's gotta be a ulu place also.. i don't want cars speeding pass the place... it's gotta be perfect... or it wouldn't be 'me'.. you know? (k stupid again...)

seeee now i'm so excited cause i wanna get the thing on filmmmm!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!! *jumps around...*

stories through pictures...

sometimes i hate my dreams... (not because of their content)
but because they come at the loveliest of times... like 3 or 4am (i forgot..)
and then i wake up *pulls himself to reality*
and can't go back to counting sheep because i've got characters running around my fields disturbing my counting! and i have to recount over and over again!!!
(hmm why are there no cans of spraypaint? *sprays numbers on the sheep* muahahhaa animal cruelty.. catch me if u can... )
if u can't beat 'em join 'em... you know? i mean there's only so many times the sheep can jump pass me anyway.. they're all exhausted to the point of fainting thanks to me (probably get a heat stroke or something... who ask them grow so much wool??) ...
(muahahahhaa more animal cruelty!)
(did i hear someone whisper 'world slavery tour?')

k i shall stop visualising.. because the film looks so Bollywood in my head now ... right? right?
people dancing in the wind.. in a hugee field.. and there's sheep hyperventilating here and there, some with their feet pointing to the sky
(I SEE THE LIGHTTT!!! oh wait.. that's just the sun... bahhhhhhhhhh)
and the people are dancing around as if entertaining the sheep
(I SWEAR IT'S A LIGHT!! BaaaaHHhHHHhh it's still the sun...)
see so bollywood right? now all we need is some nice indian song to go with it... and it'll be perfect...

OR

looks so you know...
"THE HILLLSSS ARE ALIVEEEEEE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSICCCCC!!!"
right right?!
(sheep stilll goes bahhh cause he can't come to terms that he isn't dying and has to go through another embarrasing strip session in his lifetime....)
but now we have the nazis chasing behind us! omg! grab the camera make for the hills...
*bang bang bang!*
they're coming in the motorcycles... quick round up the sheep...
*makes a wall with sheep...*
*motorcyclist crashes into sheep and fliesss of motorcycle... and lies on the ground motionless...*
*goes over to check on the guy... (who cares about the sheep.. if it dies we'll probably make lamb chops out of it anyway... -Muahahaha animal cruelty!)*
*pokes..* "are u alright mate? need some Cordon Bleu? (sry couldn't help myself.. =P)
'i don't wanna go to school mama.. i wanna stay home and bake cookies with you... look mama sheep! why's that one holding a paper bag and breathing so fast? ooo i love sheep can we have lamb chops mama?'
*commands sheep to create a stampede towards the betterofdead soldier...*
'ooo mama here they come!'
*twoing dwoing twoind dwoing...* ( if u don't know whats happening the sheep are actually jumping over him instead of killing him..)
quick start counting...
one, two, three
stop! en francaise s'il vous plait... (doesn't that just sound like June?)
un, deux, trois, quatre
"Sound of Musssiccccc!!!!"
and gotta restart and still can't sleep and and... u get the picture? a deadly sheepy cycle...

falling out of reach...

*Now Playing Our Lady Peace - Somewhere Out There*

Last time I talked to you,
you were lonely and out of place.
You were looking down on me,
lost out in space.

Laid underneath the stars,
strung out and feeling brave.
Watch the riddles glow,
watch them float away.

Down here in the atmosphere,
garbage and city lights,
you gotta save your tired soul,
you gotta save our lives.

Turn on the radio,
to find you on satellite,
I'm waiting for the sky to fall,
I'm waiting for a sign.

All we are is all so far.

You're falling back to me,
the star that I can't see.
I know you're out there,
somewhere out there.

You're falling out of reach,
defying gravity,
I know you're out there,
somewhere out there.

Hope you remember me,
when you're homesick and need a change.
I miss your purple hair,
I miss the way you taste.

I know you'll come back someday,
on a bed of nails awake.
I'm praying that you don't burn out,
or fade away.

All we are is all so far

You're falling back to me,
the star that I can't see.
I know you're out there,
somewhere out there.

You're falling out of reach,
defying gravity,
I know you're out there,
somewhere out there.

You're falling back to me,
the star that I can't see.
I know you're out there, oh.
You're falling out of reach,
defying gravity....

I know you're out there,
somewhere out there.

You're falling back to me,
the star that I can't see.
I know you're out there,
somewhere out there.

You're falling out of reach,
defying gravity,
I know you're out there,
somewhere out there.

You're falling back to me.

Well I know,
I know.

You're falling out of reach.

I know...

that night, i remember...