the blog is back..

yesh.. apparently blogger's automated spam detection thingum decided emo blogging was a sin and labelled my blog as a spam blog.. O.O
yah.. ubber stunned...
but the nice blogger people got it up and running again.. (though it took awhile) but yeah..
no worries...

i've got the sneezes!!! can't go more than 5 minutes without sneezing.. rar!
dun wanna fall sick now! =(
*refuse!*
3 assignments left in school all pretty big ones...

NVP 3 final edit (which is going pretty smoothly)
CG final edit (my god haven't digitized... as good as dead..)
Proposal essay (CHIAM! Dun WORRY! We Will Finish IT!)

hurr today's audio test? c'est simple! mais... (was easy buT!)
I ANSWERED ADSR WRONGLY!!! MY GOD!
HOW DUMB CAN I BE!! (tsk know.. and i wrote the notes -.-""""""""" *drinks a glass of water* -.-""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""")
The ever surprising maosi wrote: ADSR = "Automated Digital Sound Recorder"
*kena own being sung in the background*
when it's suppose to be "Attack, Initial Decay, Sustain, Release"
RAR! DAMN DUMB!
and kena own worse.. for loc pro test i mixed up Condenser mic and Dynamic mic...
(can anyone say, DUMBERER!)
friggin stupid.. tsk know..
hurhur.. and yes kena own worst.. cause got stuck in my house lift
it jammed and yah... stuck inside for 45 minutes?
and i happen to be slighlty claustrophobic especially since i couldn't breathe through my nose...
but mommy was panicking.. i could tell.. worried that i might be late for audio test.. hurhur...
came outta the lift at 1135? 1140? audio test in school at noon?
yio chu kang to clementi?
in 20 minutes? sound possible?
no... but 25 minutes? yes! hahaha
me mum ish the most hardcore driver to ever live on this earth..
she could win michael shumacher and his Ferrari with her automatic mitsubishi colt if she had the chance luh... Hhahahhaha...
she rocks the socks! =D
sighhh tmr stll got Sports and Wellness.. it's one of the only module that still requires me to go to class!! Stupid! wake up at 6am... to rush to school by 8am.. to play soccer for 2 hours? FOR WHAT?! i wouldn't do that for floorball even! (okayy maybe i will.. ) but that's not the point!
anyways chiamo, calvin, dexian and me thinking of renting a hostel appartment in school... hurhur... won't save much on transport luhhh but hey! i get to sleep an extra 2 hours everydaay!! WHY NOT?!!?!
yah sorry talkative now... hurhur...

And i just realised i have 1 strepsil to last me until tomorrow...
i dies... tsk...
i hope the sore throat and sneezes will go away by friday! then can go KBox celebrate end 1st year of school! (though it looks like i'll be retaking soc psych.. *hopes not*) Who cares!!!
and cohort chalet to look forward to!
yah so many things.. floorball luhh.. zoo luhhh... other things luhhh...

kk enough blogging for now..
Aurevoir tous le monde!

face down in the dirt....

Hey girl, you know you drive me crazy
one look puts the rhythm in my hand.
Still I'll never understand why you hang around
I see what's going down.

Cover up with make up in the mirror
tell yourself, it's never gonna happen again
you cry alone and then he swears he loves you.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect
every action in this world will bear a consequence
If you wade around forever you will surely drown
I see what's going down.

I see the way you go and say you're right again,
say you're right again
heed my lecture

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.

Face down in the dirt, she said,
this doesn't hurt, she said,
I finally had enough.
[x2]

One day she will tell you that she has had enough
he's coming round again.

Do you feel like a man when you push her around?
Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?
Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end
as your lies crumble down, a new life she has found.
[x2]

Face down in the dirt, she said,
this doesn't hurt, she said,
I finally had enough.

----

there'll be a point in time when all things come crumbling down
and you feel you doubt your own abilities...
and you worry about everything..
anything..
and sometimes seriously for nothing...

a feeling i know too well...

yeah i know this feeling...
it's not one i should be proud of but one that makes me what i am...
human (i guess)..
and i think i understand how you are probably feeling too...
but everyone's got different experiences.. everyone's got their
own way of reacting to situations...

yeahhh

maybe i chose this in a moment of foolishness...
don't know... i can't remember when it started...
(memory's been dying out on me again)

Peut-être c'était une mauvaise décision ?
Et maintenant, je ne comprend pas tout les problemes...
je ne sais pas...
La vie? Elle n'est pas pleine des contes de fées... non...

hmmm... beginning to run in circles again..
i'm not sure why.. but i feel... incomplete?
don't know... just not content.. no idea why or what...
been feeling like this for awhile now...
mm.. and of all times it comes back now...
yeah... i think this is one of the reasons why i hate coming home..
feel seperated from the world...
i just want to go to sleep everytime i get back...
it's tiring... to have this feeling..
it's tiring... to not know what to do..
i hate the feeling like i'm helpless.. not in control..
like everything's already been planned out.. and i'm just living it..
just part of one big play...
one puppet in a million puppet show...
1 drop of water in the sea...
yah.. don't know but i feel that small..
and i hate the feeling...
just like when i've got no money..
feels.. helpless... it's the same as compromising...
settling for less.. when people tell you to live life to it's fullest?
i hate the feeling of having to do things against your will...
you'll never do it with all your heart..
it'll never mean anything to you...
and sometimes even if you do something with all your heart and soul...
no one sees it...
you hope and pray that someone would have noticed..
someone would have seen the work gone in...
the beauty within..
no they don't... they don't see that deep...
they can't see the many things hidden between the lines...
there's no point lying to myself..
because i know i'm lying...
what would be the point?

sooner... or later....

wookayy..

wookay.. so nvp3 shoot today wasn't that bad..
(even though yesterday was)
i could feel all my blood stuck from my neck up...
almost daring anyone to have a go at me and i'd bite your head off!
(fwah.. so fierce...)
yahhh =(
dun like!
bloody hate being fierce... wanna find back the nice maosi in me...
hiding somewhere.. think he's too tired of being patient...
but yah.. it's nearly over... almost at the top of this mountain...
where i'll see the view...
it's either gonna be a spectacular one,
or one that'll make me feel like i've wasted all my time this academic year...
we'll see...

haii i'm not proud of 2 things i did this past week =(
and because i'm not proud of what i did.. i will expose myself to being scolded
by the world.. cause that's the only way i'll improve... same as when back in
sec school i was trying to rid myself of the vulgarities...
(might have to have another crash course in that i think)
okayy here it comes...

i hit xiuqi... and then ah lian the other day..
yah okay hit me...
I VOW NEVER TO TOUCH ANOTHER GIRL WITH BRUTE FORCE EVER AGAIN!
(and to keep this promise.. i told Calvin [one of me buddies in fsv =D]
that if he ever saw me, heard of me hitting another girl in that manner..
he will have the permission from me to hammer me into a pulp...
so much so that i'll become a handicap and can't move ever again..)
yah *Swears*!

and yesh.. SORRY LIAN AND DJJ!!!
VERY SORRY!
buy yall icecreams... like lifetime supply... =D

yah final film project/nvp3 hopefully will not kill me tomorrow..
i'm gonna go off and pray to my 'ceiling' that it doesn't rain
or yah.. can blame the heavens for all we care.. but really becomes
my fault yesh.. cause i'm the director.. and as long as i can't get the film out
for whatever reason, it is still my fault... yah yah...
so I WILL GET IT OUT! AND FILM IT BEAUTIFULLY,
SO BEAUTIFULLY THAT IT WOULD BE WORTHY OF REMEMBRANCE...
and we've got behind the scenes photos tooo! thanks to xiuqi who
went around taking pictures while we were at work...
(Excuse only! excuse to not work hahaha.. kidding!)
and jerry fell asleep when he was suppose to be watching one of the
'Red Heads' (a 800watt light) cause we placed it in a rather precarious position...
yah.. and then it began to rain.. and was gonna get wet.. and he was sleeping!
idiot!!!
hahaha
(xiuqi has photos! muahahhaha peer evaluation is your best friend alreadyyyy)

yay liverpool win chelski!

yay nvp3 shoot finishes tomorrow!

yay can't wait for editing to start so i can see the footage!

yay can't wait to finish editing and get a killer final product!

yay can't wait for holidays to begin!

yay can't wait for another KBox outing sooooon! (I WANT!!)

yay can't wait for 2nd year of school to start.. (but yes hols first please!!)

yay can't wait to learn driving! ( =D)

yay can't wait for monday! (dunno why lehhh.. hur hur hur...)

yay can't wait can't wait can't wait... for ______
(nt telling.. =P hur hur)

yay can't help but love that i'm leaving all of you going
"WTH? What You talking about?!"
you'll know sooner or later... or maybe even never at all...
depends on everything and nothing... such a funny thing isn't it?

hur hur... =P

I wanna tell the world how i feel..
but the world wouldn't understand at the same time....
and so i don't wanna tell the world how i feel..
(the world doesn't mean everybody.. just means everyone else)
haha... K *STOPS!*

be like that...

he spends his nights watching the stars on a big screen,
then he lies awake and wonders why can't that be me?
cause in his life he's filled with all these good intentions,
he's left alot of things he hasn't and would rather not mention right now.
and just before he says goodnight.. he looks up at the stars and he says,

if it could be like that? what would i do?
just to live one day in those shoes...

----

trying ta find something to hold on to can be pretty tough,
there's so many things to consider.
there's so many things that can happen to alter a decision previously made.
there's too many things happening at once, for everything to be a fairytale.

but if it could be like that? what would i do?
just to live one day in those shoes...

----

typing words onto a illuminated screen in the dark,
thinking of all that could have been and deciding it never will be there and then.
typing words onto a illuminated screen in the dark,
thinking of all that can be,
maybe,
just a decision to be made...

---

looking at the things old and new,
he decides to follow his heart and not that of others.
his mind's too tired to want to reconsider...
he hopes there's some form of understanding...
really, he wishes there was some other way...
but "somethings change",
for the better or worse....
and so the 'quiet little boy' must now say
"goodnight, my dream of old..."

this is ... the last time... (the post that never made it)

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna come here tonight
this is the last time - I will fall
into a place that fails us all - inside

I can see the pain in you
I can see the love in you
but fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down
come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

this is the last time
that I'm ever gonna give in tonight
are there angels or devils crawling here?
I just want to know what blurs and what is clear - to see

still I can see the pain in you
and I can see the love in you
and fighting all the demons will take time
it will take time

the angels they burn inside for us
are we ever
are we ever gonna learn to fly
the devils they burn inside of us
are we ever gonna come back down - come around
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could break us

if I was to give in - give it up
- and then
take a breath - make it deep
cause it might be the last one you get
be the last one
that could make us cold
you know that they could make us cold
I'm always gonna worry about the things that could make us cold

------------------------

was suppose to post this up yesterday....
and added some pretty emo stuff in... but blogger crashed and yah.. post got deleted
and i dun wanna think bout it...
yeshhh

ladies and gentlemen... i'm on the verge of having a mental breakdown
yesss....
the stress is beginning to kill me...

Written communication essay on insomnia due tmr at 6pm and i haven't typed a word...
Social psychology journal 2 about gender due on monday.. and i haven't typed a word either...
French tmr which i feel like skipping to get some much needed rest...
Final film project script and shotlist to write by wednesday...
Floorball game on sunday and i haven't touched my new sticks...

yahhh..
i wouldn't be surprised if i broke down sometime later....
becauseeeeee...

Dexian Says: [dexianhbk.blogspot] iPhone! You be my wife. says:
we is hardcore
Dexian Says: [dexianhbk.blogspot] iPhone! You be my wife. says:
and we is proud
mao-'the angels they burn inside for us, but are we gonna learn to fly? and i can see the pain in you, i can see the love in you' says:
YESH!

(yah aggro... but give me a break i'm really being pushed to the limit.. i haven't had a proper nights rest in 1 month for crying out loud!! O.O)

okay gonna go shower and start my essay... looks like i'm not sleeping tonight.. hur hur hur
*goes literally crazy..*

oh wait! i did a good deed today! :P
donated blood :P (so kind only)
yahh cause there was this girl who got into an accident...
and they needed ppl with bloodtypes A+ and O
and lucky her i'm A+ so yah.. let some nice auntie poke me with a needle
on the left arm when i wasn't looking because she was distracting me..
(hAhahahha...)
and drained i think 500ml of blood outta me..
and i know i'm not supposed to do any exercise after donating blood..
but went for Sports and Wellness makeup class anyways... and yah i'm still standing now..
so no biggie..
but i left eh iron tablets i'm supposed to take to help with the blood thing in school!
yah k.. nth else to whine about anymore...

reminders...

yeahh was reading mademoiselle's blog (seeee) and got reminded of this song...
=) fwah... (pity the guitar solo part had a little jump

From this Moment


and for your love, i'd give my last breath...
to live only for your happiness...
my 'dreams' came true because of you....
i 'promise you this', there's nothing i wouldn't give...

a gift carried in the wind...

they say make a wish before you blow out the candles on the cake...
looking at the candles he shuts his eyes tight..
and with all his heart and soul...
the wish isn't for himself.. it's for someone else..
who he feels needs it more than he does..
with this breath... he wishes upon a star for you

thanks to the people who remembered haha...
no i don't need a party.. just the friendship is good enough yep yep...
=)
to you beautiful people who i'm lucky to know... thanks yous so much!!!!

where ever you are,
no matter how far,
just want to let you know
the world isn't such a bad place...
there's alot of beauty in the world...
if only you'd look further out.
past the dark clouds and evil people...
there's good in this world...

ouiii...
mmm mademoiselle! take care ya? hang in there! u'll get better in no time!
just stay tough.. i'm sure He's with you... =)

won't know till the end...

"a thousand years he's been waiting"

"why are you doing this?"
"why? why not?"

"green envy will start what red blood must end"

"... refused to believed that there was a cohesion between life and dream..."

"Yeah, what am i doing here?"

the most insignificant lines... mean the most sometimes...
just like how
the smallest most subtle things... have strong reasons, emotions and feelings behind them

-----
overslept today... didn't go to school...
yahh went back to bed and slept to my heart's content
but something's missing
it's not there anymore
black...

loads of things due tmr and...
soc psych test 20% (which i have yet to studied)
nvp3 draft script due... (seriously.. i don't like it... )
gotta find someway to get a meaning to it...
it's just ....black
and i'll be directing... god.. i think i should step aside let someone else take control
need time to get my ideas back to me...
felt crappy yesterday when discussing the script... and i couldn't do anything...
i didn't say much... i didn't get much in my mind to begin with...
beating myself up inside wasn't helping...
the drinks didn't do anything...


"then really, what on earth am i doing here?"
an orange sunset in the window
his ears hear words he's heard from within himself
he doesn't know what to do
he wasn't this way before
there's been a change
but what triggers the change?
what hinders his progress?
what is his heart thinking of all this while?
why?