nightmare of things now, then and maybe tomorrow...

a planned outing of friends...
everyone was there.. everyone we knew...
and it seemed that each time there was the slightest chance of contact,
i somehow managed to slip away...
i'd have thought it wouldn't matter to you anyway...
but then you called.. and asked for a chat..
no.. u didn't ask for a chat.. u asked for an argument..
the perfect way of resolving problems between people... because everything is let loose...
all that has ever wanted to be said and done is finally told, shown.. no longer withheld in your mind...
too perfect i though.. it couldn't have happened in real life.. it doesn't work like that in life...
we don't ask for an argument to solve things anymore..
we just let 'bygones be bygones'.. things of the past that should be forgotten..not worthy of rememberance...
but yes.. i wanted a better tomorrow.. one where everything would be understood.. for the better or worse..
but i saw your insecurities right away.. you brought friends... dragged the probelm out and involved individuals who really didn't matter.. but who have the power to change the outcome.. change the reasons behind actions and words..
i asked for a change of location.. a place where we'd be able to chat.. just you and me..
for a moment it seemed it'd worked.. but your friends.. they wouldn't have it... and you did nothing to stop their poking..
you gave your question... one that i'm sure u've been preparing.. and i said..
"Anger, Jealousy, Loneliness, Frustration, Pride and Over-Confidence.."
that's where it ended..
because we were disturbed once again..
no, not by one of your friends..
by one of mine.. he spat at the situation from above us.. and took it all as a joke..
his hysterical laughing.. mocking my every move.. and i couldnt take it anymore..
the monster within reared it's ugly head.. and everything just went downhill from there..
form the first chair thrown.. to him holding up his hands covered in his own blood..
and still.. laughing..
i tried to get help.. but the authorities wouldn't believe me.. just how many times have i 'cried wolf'?
and then i called myself.. by a different name.. one of extreme significance.. i became him..
with the sad, gloomy eyes... and a entire hidden world of unpleasant situations within him..
and i knew what it meant..
i knew you'd fade away eventually..

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funny how dreams use people you actually know to represent things...
everything has a meaning.. if only you look at what lies beneath...
everytime i open my fridge i see that big red box.. (yes it's still there..) i havent't opened it since that day.. a pretty depressing sight.. but i think i'll take a picture and get rid of it soon..
things u don't need to know.. because they shouldn't matter...

hurr.. calvin and i are having plans to make a musical haha i think it's got potential.. hurhur
"FSV: The Musical" will help show the world what fsv students go through in school.. the many worries and problems we face in life.. and how our personal lives are also brought into the picture..hurhur.. sounds cool can't wait to get started on it..

production for our singtel commercial is finally over.. it's been a long week.. and for the first time in awhile, i'm sitting at home with nothing to do hurhurhur.. DAMN BORINGGG!!!
Somebody save me!!!! rar!
not going for sunday's game i guess because i really F*&^ed up my left shoulder during production :( really stupid because i can't even tie my shoelaces without feeling discomfort luhh..
and i can't sleep on my left side anymore because of it.. i can't play floorball because i can't shoot! i had a taste of it in valhall yesterday when i couldn't resist having a shot or two hurhur.. (and i'm regretting it now! )
and had heartburn yesterday thanks to my lousy meal times..
i'm getting stress induced chest pains and heartburn at the same time.. @.@
and my right knee cap was funny.. tsk..
seeeee so much to complain about... =P
and there's still so much more i'd like to say! but no..
oooooo momma just brought food back so i'm going to go eat my breakfast.. (yes at 5pm) hur hur... cya people!