a emo one...

i'm reaching a point where i don't wanna know you anymore...
it's getting frustrating for me to try to understand certain things about you..
it's getting difficult for me to keep asking myself to persevere.. maybe love will find a way...
and yaaa.. same as djj.. i should have acted long long ago.. but didn't... and as i predicted, i'm
crying over spilt milk...

the dreams are getting so distorted... it's tough to see any details anymore.. everything's
smudged up together... someone threw some black paint in... and the whole thing looks like it's fading to black.. and i can't do anything about it...

what am i suppose to do now? when i don't wanna let go... cause it hurts to let go.. i've tried...
i've failed... it takes me back to hope... how i'm begging for things to happen but they never ever do... how i want luck to take action... but luck was something i never really had in the first place... how do i move pieces that aren't on the chess board to begin with...
how can i please someone who feels so close to me yet so far at the same time?
how do i understand you, when it seems u never let me in that far... i can only tend to the
surface.. but further in i can faintly see so much more..

you've changed... changed so much.. u once told me of this one other who was "green" about how u set the priorities in your heart... yah i see now why he got to be that way... u've changed in how you think...everything goes through an extra path... through one i cannot follow...
i've yet to make a decision.. yet to trust faith..

these past few months i've tried my best... i'm doing what i can...
i'm trying to help.. but i'm not given the support i need..
i'm not given appreciation.. you're not taking notice of me...
almost like u're 'ignoring' me... and yes it feels like shit...
i feel like shit nearly everyday...
i hate staying home...
i hate the long nights...
i hate the time spent pondering over you...
i keep myself super busy because i don't want to think of you...
it kills me to think of where we are now... and what could have been...

i really don't know if i can continue anymore...
i don't know if i want to anymore...
i know there's hope within the next 2 weeks.. but i don't think i can hold out that long...
won't you give me a hand? pull me up and tell me to carry on??
won't you show me you care? or cared?? help me to decide what to do?
or is there someone new .. as i feared?
someone new u've found who is all that you have eyes for... all that you need?
though i've given u all of me?

broken this fragile thing now, and i can't, i can't pick up the pieces
i've thrown my words all around... but i can't i can't give you a reason...
I feel so broken up, And i give up....
i just wanna tell YOU so you know...

if life gives me one last wish... i wanna see your eyes one last time...